The manager of a general store is teaching a new kid how to sell customers more than they actually need. “I’ll show you what I mean,” he whispers as a guy walks in asking for lawn seed.

“Here you go,” says the manager.

“And you’ll be wanting a lawn mower, right?”

“Why’s that?” the guy asks.

“You’ll need to cut the grass after the seeds grow.”

Amazingly, the guy buys one. When another man enters and asks for a pack of Tampax, the manager winks at the boy, who says, “Of course, sir. And I suppose you’ll be needing a lawn mower?”

“Why would that be?” asks the puzzled customer.

“Well, your weekend’s f*cked, so you might as well mow the lawn.”

Management Lesson
Lesson Number One

************************

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.


Management Lesson?
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Number Two

***************

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch
of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.

Management Lesson?

Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

*****************

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in
the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.


Management Lesson?
1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Here endeth your management course.