JFL

This is very serious, so read it carefully. Several new viruses
> have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the
> national system. Beware of...
>
> 1. THE ALGORE Virus....(Causes your computer to just keep
> counting and counting)
>
> 2. THE CLINTON Virus....(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with
> NO memory)
>
> 3. THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus...(Makes a new hard drive
> out of an old floppy)
>
> 4. THE LEWINSKY Virus...(Sucks all the memory out of your
> computer, then Emails everyone about what it did)
>
> 5. THE RONALD REAGAN Virus....(Saves your data, but forgets
> where it is stored)
>
> 6. THE MIKE TYSON Virus....(Quits after two bytes)
>
> 7. THE OPRAH WINFREY Virus....(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks
> to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
>
> 8. THE JACK KEVORKIAN Virus...(Deletes all old files)
>
> 9. THE ELLEN DEGENERES Virus...(Disks can no longer be inserted)
>
> 10. THE PROZAC Virus...(Totally screws up your RAM, but your
> Processor doesn't care)
>
> 11. THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO Virus...(Only attacks minor files)
>
> 12. THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER Virus...(Terminates some files,
> leaves, but will be back)
>
> - And my personal favorite...
>
> 13. THE LORENA BOBBITT Virus...(Reformats your hard drive into
> a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)