Hey Ladies.......
 

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. Why do men get married? A. So they don't have to hold their stomachs in any more.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them.

I'm surprised it took you this long...........:D:D;).

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?


Dating children.

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?


For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

1.Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half of the time!!!

2. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

3. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows

Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!!!!!!

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.


Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the **** out of you.


What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

Hey....this is no fair right now!!!! All of the women are WORKING, while you guys are on here bashing us!!
I'm going to finish laundry.
:D

Mom's have Mother's Day, father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday