Like Tree0Likes

What Would Jesus Drive?

Reply
Old 11-25-2002, 03:34 PM
  #1
Registered
Thread Starter
 
dockrocker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Deeee-troit!
Posts: 3,356
Talking What Would Jesus Drive?

This guy figured it out!

Quote:
An automobile for a really big wheel

A group of concerned clergy is asking, "What would Jesus have driven?"

By Dale McFeatters
November 23, 2002

An evangelical Christian group is about to launch a series of TV ads that poses the question, "What Would Jesus Drive?"

Other religious leaders are asking carmakers that question directly as part of a campaign to get the auto companies to make -- and the faithful to buy -- fuel-efficient, environmentally friendly vehicles.

But they do raise an interesting proposition: What would Jesus have driven?

First off, he was a carpenter so he would have driven a pickup truck to carry his tools and lumber, certainly a truck with an extended bed to carry drywall and plywood sheathing.

Since Jesus' work takes him among thieves, he'd need a deluxe locking toolbox behind the cab.

Jesus would need more than just cargo space. With all those disciples, he'd be carrying a lot of passengers, so we'll equip his truck with a super crew cab. Jesus' demographics skew working-class, so we'll put a rack over the rear window. No, not for guns. For Peter's fishing gear.

I think we're looking at top-of-the-line trucks here, a GMC Sierra 2500, a Ford F-350 or a Dodge Ram 3500. Those little toy trucks won't do.

The best roads in Roman times were fitted stone blocks that would shake a lesser vehicle to pieces and the ordinary roads were little better than paths heavily rutted by ox carts.

So we'll need heavy-duty shocks and springs and maybe we better jack the body up off the frame a little for better ground clearance. Dual rear wheels wouldn't hurt, either.

Since he'll be using the truck to journey to the mountaintop and sojourn in the wilderness, he'll need off-road capability, four-wheel drive, oversize tires and brush guards over the grille.

Being a helpful sort, Jesus may want to help his neighbors get to market by throwing their oxen in the back and towing their carts. So we'll need the towing package and the oversize side mirrors. And of course Quadrasteer for the narrow streets of Jerusalem.

There's no sense scrimping on power, so we'll go for a 6.6-liter turbo diesel putting out at least 325-horsepower. Jesus was of course familiar with the feast of Hanukkah, in which the oil in the lamps was continuously replenished, so fuel consumption shouldn't be a big deal.

We'll opt for the five-speed automatic transmission so he'll have one hand free to bless the multitudes. And a CB with twin antennas to better spread the Word.

Jesus did much of his work among the poor and dispossessed, and you might think that would require a clunker with a dragging tailpipe or at least an austere little econobox.

But that would be patronizing and demeaning. He should drive the kind of vehicle that the poor and dispossessed would drive if they weren't poor and dispossessed. That means we would have to go with the complete chrome option package and a boom car quality sound system. The color? White, of course. White symbolizes all kinds of good things in the Bible, but Desert Tan might be nice, too.

A vanity plate? Let's not press our luck. So how will we know if this is truly What Jesus Would Drive?

Because people will look at it, spread their arms, look heavenward and say, "Good Lord, now that's a truck!'

Hey, they brought it up.

-- Dale McFeatters writes for Scripps Howard News Service.
dockrocker is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:43 PM
  #2
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
Dean Ferry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Merritt Is. Fl. USA
My Boats: 2006 Hustler 388, 2004 Hustler Talon 25, 1999 30 Spectre cat and 2007 21' hydrostream voyager w/ Merc. 225 EFI
Posts: 6,580
Default

DR,
That's a good one!
MD
Dean Ferry is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:46 PM
  #3
Registered
 
seanclong's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Posts: 798
Default

Forgot to mention the OSO sticker in the back window.
seanclong is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:50 PM
  #4
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Trade Score: (1)
 
KAAMA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Western Michigan
My Boats: A boat?....What boat??? How about a galvarnized warsh tub wit a toranady strapped own da rear!
Posts: 4,329
Default Oh boy, here we go...

What would Jesus drive? I highly doubt that it's a moral issue. It's not a perfect world and won't be until (according to God's Word) Jesus Christ returns and sets up His kingdom during the one thousand year millenial reign. I don't like the pollution any more than anyone else, but man doesn't really have the answer, but rather God IS the answer and He has a plan. All He wants us to do trust in Him and His Word.
KAAMA is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:53 PM
  #5
Registered
Thread Starter
 
dockrocker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Deeee-troit!
Posts: 3,356
Default

Kaama,

I agree, it's an assinine issue in the first place. OTOH, I can picture Jesus tooling around in a white F-350 duallie, Powerstroke of course (a Ram would be too Old Testament, I think, and J.C. has too much class to drive a Chevy )
dockrocker is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:53 PM
  #6
Registered
 
Clay Washington's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Austin, Texas
My Boats: 1990 Cigarette Bullet
Posts: 6,986
Default

Let's ride!
Clay Washington is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 03:56 PM
  #7
Registered
 
EvilTwin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Sacandaga Lake
My Boats: Hustler 388
Posts: 1,006
Default

Well if he wanted a powerful truck then it immediately would have to become a Ford 6.0 (as I believe we all have seen the test results).
EvilTwin is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 04:14 PM
  #8
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Trade Score: (1)
 
KAAMA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Western Michigan
My Boats: A boat?....What boat??? How about a galvarnized warsh tub wit a toranady strapped own da rear!
Posts: 4,329
Default

Well, the scriptures say that when Jesus returns that it's going to be on a "white horse" (Revelation 19:11) and the closest thing to a white horse that I think He would drive is a Ram-------a Dodge Ram with the Cummins 24 Valve Turbo Diesel----all WHITE of course.
KAAMA is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 04:59 PM
  #9
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
 
rainmn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Manahawkin, NJ
Posts: 2,121
Default

Here are some possible answers -
http://www.highrock.com/personal/WWJD/
rainmn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2002, 05:07 PM
  #10
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
32fever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Granger, IN
My Boats: 37 Outerlimits & Sweetwater 2486 Tritoon 140HP
Posts: 1,036
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by KAAMA
Well, the scriptures say that when Jesus returns that it's going to be on a "white horse" (Revelation 19:11) and the closest thing to a white horse that I think He would drive is a Ram-------a Dodge Ram with the Cummins 24 Valve Turbo Diesel----all WHITE of course.
Doesn't it say something in the Bible about Ram owners going to hell? LOL! Ecclesiastes 3:15 or something?

See, Kaama, in the old Hebrew translation, FORD can often be misinterpreted as horse. As in, lots of "horsepower".

I think Jesus would drive a Skater and want catmando as a crew member. Sorry, catmando, that was just too easy...
32fever is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Strip Poker 388
Trucks, Trailers and Transportation
2
10-20-2007 06:11 PM
Wardey
General Boating Discussion
6
03-30-2004 08:40 AM



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:50 PM.


Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.