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O.T.: Bubba Clause

Old 12-10-2002, 10:55 AM
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Talking O.T.: Bubba Clause

For those that havent seen this.......

To my Southern friends,

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..., when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars
crashing into each other.
And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
Member of North American
Fairies and Elves, Union 1225
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Old 12-10-2002, 10:58 AM
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Old 12-10-2002, 10:58 AM
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Old 12-10-2002, 11:14 AM
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Oh we've always known about Bubba Claus here in Texas
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Old 12-12-2002, 02:46 PM
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Default Re: O.T.: Bubba Clause


4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..., when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

Its Donder not Donner

Henry Livingston named him Donder in the original 1773 Poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" , popularly known as 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, published anonymusly by the Troy sentinal in 1823 and later Plagerized in his book of poems in 1844 by Clement C. Moore who tried to take credit for it.

Gene Autry ( a texan wouldn't you know it ) mispronounced it in the 1950's song Rudolph the Red nose reindeer causing the common confusion

Last edited by ursus; 12-12-2002 at 03:21 PM.
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Old 12-12-2002, 08:53 PM
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Who's Santa Clause?
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Old 12-12-2002, 10:37 PM
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Banana moon pie is the BEST!!! Vanilla is a distant second.

P.S. I never knew it was Donder, Thanks for the tidbit
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