OT:Santa Cancels Christmas
T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed at the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady *****es cause I work late at night The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get better Those *******s from IRS sent me a letter They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money And the kids these days - they all are the pits They want the impossible ...Those mean little ****s I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM! If you think that's bad...just picture this Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard And if I don't smile..the parents think I'm weird Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason I found me a big titted blonde and I'm going SOUTH for the season!! |
:D :p :D :p
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yeehaa... sounds like my kind of guy! hahaa
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Nope, sorry, I like Tanks better.
T'was the night before christmas...OSO style (Post #1) I think it's about that time.....Might as well make this an anual thing Enjoy! Twas the night before christmas all through out the OSO board All the members were lerking a big happy OSO hoard Members were post hoaring typing of this and that hunkering down in their chairs for a nice OSO chat. As I sat in my seat I heard this big rumble I thought to myself "what the hell is that??" in a grumble I walked to the window and what I did see made my jaw drop for surely it couldn't be. What I saw made me run as fast as I possibly could out through the front door into the neighborhood For there in the street was a big 'ol red sleigh but what was in tow made me say, "No f*ckin way!!" The big jolly man sitting up in the seat he turned to me winked, and jumped down to his feet. "Well what do you think on this fine christmas eve? Should I drop it right here?" as he rolled up his sleave. He pointed to the rear of his ride is that a tripple axle trailer? excitement I could not hide. I can tell you this much as I looked the trailer front to back a fine candy paint job custom rims and in fact, This had to be the nicest trailer I've seen! But it was what was on top If you know what I mean!! At this point santa said, "Was it a cat or a vee? the writing in your list, was to sloppy to see." I said in stunned words a 42 vee bottom He threw something I looked up in time and caught em. two Cigarette keys I looked back at the boat It was just as I pictured Just like I wrote. An awsome thing sat there a beutiful boat man I cant wait to get this a float! Santa ran down the list Blower scoops, gafrig gauges, blower motors, number 6 drives, custom paint, It even has those cool Cig key floaters. St. Nick looked at me then said, something smart, "Heres a gas card, you'll need some for it to start." I looked at santa and said, "You're the best!" He put a hand on my shoulder and said know to the rest Your OSO buddies have been requesting the same type of stuff He jumped to his sleigh with a little bit of huff. I've got lots of deliveries lots of trips to my boat shop OSO is world wide Alot of area's to stop! The reindeer will be pulling extra hours tonight pulling these big boats Makes for a rough flight. he said enjoy that new cig I sure enjoy mine throttles wide open I've been known to get a fine. Before he left on his way into the big night sky He said, "make sure you post this, I can read my laptop on the fly!" But wait till the morning Dont want to ruin the supprise I shoule start taking pictures of the look from you guys! I could post them on the board there on OSO That would be akick OH look at the time I must go. As he took flight in his sleigh He yelled down and said to me Last year I got OSO stickers This year a shirt would be good for free!! I'll see you on OSO I lurk when Im in flight Merry christmas to all and to all a good night!! Tank |
Re: OT:Santa Cancels Christmas
Originally posted by Cgarrett Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS Donder and Blitzen,,, (Thunder and lightning) daahhhner is how texans who can't pronounce a complex phonetic word like Donder say it Henry Livingston named him Donder in the original 1773 Poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" , popularly known as 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, published anonymusly by the Troy sentinal in 1823 and later Plagerized in his book of poems in 1844 by Clement C. Moore who tried to take credit for it. Gene Autry ( a texan wouldn't you know it :D ) mispronounced it in the 1950's song Rudolph the Red nose reindeer causing the common confusion |
There you go. That's some nice Christmas trivia (except for the part slamming the Texans.) :cool:
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Santa,
I believe, I believe........Please bring me a new Cigarette too! Aqua:frog: |
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Originally posted by Uncle Toys (except for the part slamming the Texans.) :cool: Would it help if I said Gene Autry altho born in Texas considered himself an Oaklahoman :D:D:D |
LMAO!!!:D
Check out what Wally posted and after it plays click on some of the other episodes. I laugh and learn thanks to you guys. Cordell |
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