The problem with remaining friends with her is that she will call you when something breaks, something heavy needs to be moved, hauled or some wacko that she has been seeing starts stalking her! Like NEBULOUS said, be the man, be respectful, and be unavailable!
You think she`s calling now, it will get much worse the closer it gets to boating season! Roger 1

Puder, you answered your own question. Time to move on down the road a bit.

Silly girl, her lose, right?

Man I can tell you from experience(I am going through it right now) to NOT let her back in... I am "friends" with my EX... BUT she still has feelings for me, and I dont for her... YES we did the "im lonely tonight, can you come over" thing. Now I am the bad guy if she gets wind that I might be seeing someone, or am just having a good time out by myself or with friends. Yet she dates guys all the time!... I have come to the conclusion that its time to let her go even as a friend.... She is a good person, I like her but at the same time I know that "we" will never work as a couple. If there is anything I learned in the last 3 years, its that...

As said before, be respectful and be unavailable.

Get your life moving and learn from your experiences.

When giving up the booze, you'll lose a lot of friends.

When you've succeeded in giving up the booze, you'll realize that they weren't the friends worth keeping.

The few friends you have kept will be your friends for life.

quite an eloquent first post, welcome.

Maybe it's your ex? :D

Be friends...you never know when you might want to slip into some old shoes now and then.:p

Puder lets be honest hear. Change that DID to a DO. You obviously have serious feelings for this girl still or this would be a NO BRAINER. Dude I got out of a relasionship a while back that I was all messed up with. I thought that she was "the one" and all that. Well I tried the friendship thing and all that did was make it IMPOSSIBLE to start a new relationship. You will always be confused about it, and you will feel guilty being in a relasionship if she is not.
As I see it you have two choices. You guys are either going to try and get back together, and lets face it if the rest of the relasionship was 100%, and all that was the problem was the drinking then, guess what she was in college and that is part of that whole scene. Maybe she has grown up a bit and is starting to get over it (the drinking, the posh clubs). I could tell you some of my drinking stories that would make most peoples heads spin, but I almost never drink now.
The other option is to tell her thanks but no thanks, be nice about it stay in touch on the phone but I would cut it off there.
I choose the second option, met a wonderful girl and I am getting married. I almost never even think about the other chick now as I see how bad the relasionship tuely was now that I am in a good healthy one.
Hope all this bantering helpes ya out man. Bottom line is you are a good guy so don't let being single for a little bit make you jump into something that you know could be bad. If you think it could be good with her then maybe you want to give it another try. Friends as they say in monty python is RIGHT OUT :D:D

Jon

Puder -- we've all be there. The problem is that a lot of us keep repeating the cycle over and over again even though we know better. I'm embarassed to tell you how long my ex-boyfriend and I kept up this game, but the reason that we kept falling back into the trap was that we kept trying to be friends. We'd get lonely or one of us would get hurt by someone we were dating and seek "friendship." We'd always fall back to what was comfortable and the craziness would start all over again.

Finally, four years ago, we decided it had to stop. We went cold turkey and severed all contact. Mutual freinds tell me that two years ago he met and married someone who is perfect for him. And I have met some terrific men and had more fun than I thought possible (and no tears!).

Don't sell your self short -- move on and meet someone who you KNOW is the right person for you.
Lia

if you do not share kids, and her family isn't very wealthy say seeee-yaaaaa

no kids and no comment ;)

and how did this get brought back up.

old thread. FYI situation is still wierd and i've been giving the situation (and her) some distance

lol, this thread keeps making me chuckle. everytime she and i seem to get in an argument or **** gets wierd again this threads seems to pop up. i wonder if she's an oso member now????

I don't know what to say about the whole situation, but she really must be getting to you.....that is the best writing I have ever seen from you!!!:D :D




Aqua
:frog:




P.S.
Remember time heals all, been there done that, and don't even think of them any more!!!!!:eek:

Chick..
 

If you don't think it will work as a couple... why bother? You'll only make things harder (literally). Don't kill yourself about it.
If you're not taking her back as your woman... don't even stay in contact with her...

Been there, done that.

puder..how old are you? The reason I ask is that @ 20 something it's hard to focus, @ 30 something things come a bit clearer. I think alot of the responses you've gotten are from men a bit older? Hindsight is 20/20 and we're sharing that clearer look w/you. I was divorced 3-4 yrs. ago after 11 yrs. She was a good girl and we got married for the right reasons in our 20's, but as we grew (up) we realized that we just weren't as compatible as we were as 20 somethings. Point from me to you is this, as a man you can really enjoy solo time to sight in and achieve goals of your very own...having done this will be important to you later. I sometimes miss the day to day companionship, but this is overshadowed by the satisfaction I'm getting (and will always have) from achieving goals of my very own right now. Limited companionship is not that hard to come up with, and yes I even have had a girlfriend for a time. She did what females do...want it all to be about her needs and wants and get me tied around her in quick order...BYE ! Enjoy your solo time! There will be days in your life to come that you'll miss it dearly! ;) Regarding the spelling...is this like the Sienfeld episode when no sex makes George well read and smart? :D

Well for anyone that had been following this thread i finally told her to stop calling me. She was like "Stop calling for a while?" And i was like "stop calling for good".

thanks for the advice guys (and ladies). This sucks right now but it'll be better this way.