Roger 1

Puder;
I would stay friends. You never know, she might have a hot girlfriend that she could set you up with! Also, It would be nice to have someone you could call to arrange bail!
Roger1

Niuhi

Puder,

What I don't see in your message is whether or not she is still into the bar scene. My reasoning is that we all grow up at some point in time, okay some of us . Anyhow perhaps if she has grown out of it, the chance for getting back together may not be so bad seeing how that was your main issue. I say just see how things progress and don't press the issue, you never know you could also be reading something into nothing. If it works, great. If not then no harm done.

Les

Risk Taker

Walk away my friend.........walk away..........

catlover

I agree about not burning any bridges. It is much easier to remember each other as friends than ememies.

I've been in a similar situation for 2 years. Try dating each other and you will find that the good times were not as great as you remember nor the bad times as bad! Things might actually work out if you are BOTH sincere and willing to try. However, do realize you are opening yourself up for more heartache if it becomes apparent that it will just not work. DON'T be like me and let it drag on for 2 years!!!

Just a little advice from a female perspective...

pullmytrigger

Tough one, but "wont work as a couple, thats for damn sure" then "loved her dearly and broke up on good terms" is going to make it VERY hard to be friends (if she keeps up her present lifestyle).......you may find yourself mucking around in a "quasi" relationship with her (which would be very easy to do seeing you were with her for four years and are so comfortable there) that really isnt going anywhere and will keep you from meeting someone your more suited to. If theres no movement from either side on the partying issue Id say keep her at arms length and move on bro.............Doug

jawbreakerkid

puder-

as much as i would love to give you advice, i'm in no position to do so. i've been in your situation more times than an average person should be allowed. i'm a perfect example of "saying it is easier than doing it." i've been off and on with a woman for almost a year now. we have been together for 2 years total. the first year was smooth as glass, but this past 12 months have been crazy. we break up for 2 months, get back together for a month, break up for 3 months, get back together for 3. during our last breakup, i dated 4 girls. each of them were good looking, great personalities, stable employment, but still i was very critical of each, which told me that i wasn't ready to move on. i enjoy her friendship, but we have our differences when it comes to our relationship. sometimes i feel like i'm wasting my time trying, but the next day brings nothing but happiness. i'm as mixed up as a shanken martini! if it doesn't work for us, at least no one will say that we didn't give it our all!

good luck with your decision. if it was meant to be, it will work out..... sometimes your mind knows what is right and is ready to move on, but your heart says different. so which one do you listen to?????

best of luck,
jbk

Charmed1

From a female perspective 4 years is a long time to be together and not still love her and she you. The question would only be are you still IN love with her and she you enough to find a comprimise? I will have to agree with not burning the bridge. You never know, we all get older and our priorities change. Just because it is the bar scene for her now she may outgrow it. If there was no infidelity and that was the only problem just think about it and see how things go. Good luck and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

florida gator

Stay friends. You never know what the future holds. As long as she hasn't wronged you in any way. If she has F*** her. The timing may not be right for either of you. You can not go wrong having another friend in your life.

puder

thanks for all the good advice. Please keep it comming. All of my friends are tired of hearing me ***** about it not to mention thier advice hasn't exactly been so great.

once again the "OSO virtual posse" comes through

PhantomChaos

How you end a relationship has an enormous impact on the quality of your next relationship. When you end a relationship feeling resentful or guilty, it is much harder to move on to find a person that is right for you. Quite often, when a relationship ends, you may feel angry that you partner let you down or didn't fulfill you expectations. Women commonly feel that they gave a lot to a relationship and didn't get what they needed in return, so they feel resentful. Men, on the other hand, tend to feel more guilt and feeling bad that the relationship didn't turn out well and guilty that the woman was unfulfilled.

If it's not a match, then it's not a match. If you can be friends, that's a plus.