The Male Merit/Demerit System in Evaluating Male Sensitivity to Women.

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

1. SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed............................................... ...............+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.............. 0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets........................-1

You leave the toilet seat up................................................ ......-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty..................... 0

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.......+5

in the snow.............................................. ...............................+8

but return with beer.............................................. ..................-5

and no liners............................................ ..............................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night............................... 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.................. 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.............+5

You pummel it with a six iron.............................................. ...+10

It's her cat............................................... ...............................-40

2. AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party....................................... 0

You stay by her a while, then leave to chat w/college buddy..-2

Named Tiffany........................................... ...............................-4

Tiffany is a dancer............................................ ......................-10

With breast implants.......................................... ....................-18

3. HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.......................................... ...0

You buy a card and flowers........................................... ..0

You take her out to dinner............................................ .. 0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1

Okay, it is a sports bar............................................... ...-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................................-3

4. A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal............................................... ..................... 0

The pal is happily married........................................... ......+1

The pal is single............................................ ....................-7

He drives a Ferrari........................................... ................-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)..................-15 .

5, A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie............................................. ....+2

You take her to a movie she likes...................................+4

You take her to a movie you hate...................................+6

You take her to a movie you like......................................-2

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-15

6. YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly......................................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it ....+10

You develop a pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy shirts................-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too!"..............-800

7. THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding....................................-10

You reply, "Where?".......................................... .-35

You reply, "No, I think it's your butt"......................-100

Any other response.......................................... ...-2

8. COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression...................0

You listen, for over 30 minutes.......................................+ 5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience..+50

Your mind wanders and you hear her saying "well, what do you think?".......-100

You have fallen asleep............................................ .. .......-200

9. ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

You talk.............................................. .................-100

You don't talk.............................................. .........-150

You spend time with her........................................-200

You don't spend time with her................................-500

You are seen to be enjoying yourself........ GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

It's not very fair, now is it?

ROFLMAO 6 and 7 are the killers for me.

Les

I added up the points and they equal......you lose everytime. Another one.... You wake up and breath -200

#6 -800 I think its more than that Don`t ask me how I found out

This one gets my goat.

I was at a party at a house & there was only one bathroom. I go in & do my thing. As I am walking out this female walks in. She shuts the door & then comes back out screaming that I had not put the seat back down. I told her I thought I was nice enough to have raised the seat & I did not see why she could not put it down. What is the big deal. Is there something difficult about putting the seat down?

Did you hear the splash as her ass hit the cold water?

Ron, She did not have time to sit down, She was back out the door screaming as soon as she walked in & saw it up.

Too bad.