The Irish Declare War "Joking of course"

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!

"Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military, complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war!!!!!"

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

God Bless the Irish

That's right Sharkey!!!!!

NEVER MESS WITH THE FIGHTING IRISH!!!!!!!

DPT

I sure hope this JOKE dosen't get POOFED!! Although I am very proud of being Irish (mostly on St. Paddys day, the rest of the year I'm just PROUD to be American) But it seems that you are making fun about the Irish and could offend some of the Irish members. The PC police are tuff around here

Just for the record, I am very IRISH ...

I guess you might mean like stereotyping every Italian being some part of the Sopranos

I've seen that one before...kills me!!

Thats funny! And just your IRISH guys know it is Saint Patty's Day not PADDY!

It's OK Tim. I was just talking about a Spanish JOKE I made the other day that got POOFED. Than I got a flameing PM from Steve. I guess the PC police have double standards when you come from different countries

Shane if you ever talked to an Irishman from the old country you would know it's PADDY not PATTY. I know my Inlaws came to this great country when they were 18 years old. Back than you could put a sign in your shop that said "Irish NEED NOT APPLY" WOW!! Now adays they FORCE you to hire the rainbow coolilation.
But Thanks for the laugh.