At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars and see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom, but don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

As often as possible, skip ! rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

At least now I know I am doing it right.