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Waaay OT: Cover letter review
After 6 years at the same company, I've decided to test the job market waters. It's been so long since I've had to write a cover letter that I'd like a couple extra sets of eyes to look at it - and since some of my OSO brethen are big successful bidness types, I thought I'd run it by you...
This particular version is going to a specific company. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. Comments welcome... Mr. Anderson: XXX has recently set aggressive targets for growth over the next few years. As an experienced professional with over 15 years in the IT industry, I believe that I have the knowledge and skills to help your company reach its goals. For the past 6 years, I have been with (soul-sucking current company) specializing in technology implementation, application development, and large-scale project management. Currently, I lead the Business Intelligence and Performance Management team on the ABC account. ABC is the largest IT services contract ever awarded by the ABC client, with a planned deployment of over (lots and lots of) seats and a monetary value of (a whole lotta) dollars. My responsibilities span all initiatives related to business intelligence and performance management, from contract analysis and interpretation, to partner, vendor, and subcontractor management, to overall project management of our data collection and system integration efforts. Other notable achievements include:
After 15 years in the IT consulting sector, I find the prospect of working for a recognized automotive industry leader such as XXX to have considerable appeal. I bring to XXX a proven track record of exceptional performance, leadership ability, motivation, and good judgment. If you are interested in a motivated and committed leader, we should speak. I have attached my resume for your review, and I am available to interview at your convenience. Sincerely, Agent Smith |
I'd hire you and I can't even tell what the f@ck you do.:D :D :D
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Can't help you with the content, but it was easy enough to figure out who the "Current soul-sucking company" is. :D
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It seems long for a cover letter. How long is the resume?
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I just finished searching for a job. I start my new job June 23rd. I think your letter looks good. Cover letters are such a pain in the ass. A lot of applicants don't think they are important and don't use them and never get any calls and wonder why. I ended up taking a job that I applied for through monster.com and didn't use a cover letter. Most jobs you can apply for online now directly through their website. If I am emailing, mailing, or faxing a resume I included a cover letter. If I was applying online I did not.
Good luck, contrary to what people say about the current economy, IT people with good skills can find jobs. Dave M. P.S. Don't forget to mention the fact that you are an OSO advanced user. :D |
Originally posted by PhantomChaos It seems long for a cover letter. How long is the resume? I thought it was a bit long myself (the first version was much, much worse) - it does fit on one page, including addresses and closing. I'd shorten it, but I'm not real sure what to remove. :confused: As for the resume, it's at 3 good pages - years of consulting work = lots of different assignments to put on the resume. Not too unusual in my line of work, though. |
As long as the cover letter is just that......a "cover" and not a resume unto itself. Perhaps in the IT business a 3-page resume is the norm, but the general rule is 1-2 pages. The whole idea is to get the attention, and get an interview. Straight to the facts of what you've done, your background and what you are looking for, plus a great layout. Details can be provided at the inteview(s).
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dock rocker,
on a cover letter you have only 8 sentences to capture the person reading your cover letter. after the eight sentences make it very brief. have it refer to your resume for more in depth of what you do. also the stuff you have in paranthesis. get rid of. it'S childish. be straight to the point why they would benafit from hiring you. Treadwell |
Dockrocker,
I think I would remove the second sentence from the end. It sounded kind of condescending. Instead of "we should speak" maybe work in your "motivated and committed leader" qualities in another part of the letter. Good luck in your search! |
Originally posted by KaamaScarab30 I'd hire you and I can't even tell what the f@ck you do.:D :D :D Treadwell, I think he was just puttng that in for all us OSO'ers to laugh at, not for the real deal....atleast I think that is the case. I think it sounds a little long. I recently started a motorsports business and I was approaching potential clients that I have business realtionships with already with a letter. After I wrote the intro letter I went thru and found it to be 3 pages long. SO, I had no idea what to cut out.....but I went thru and revised several times so it is just over 1 page. Very precise, not redundant (unlike when I talk:D ). Go thru and cross out stuff you can do without or that is mentioned in the resume. Shave off and reposition sentences....you will be much happier with a shorter letter......as will the reader. Don't give them any reasaon to toss you aside, like a long letter. My .02, good luck, other than the length, the letter itself sound terrific. Allan:) |
You have to assume that there will be many people applying for the same jobs as you. I don't think the person reading over all these resumes is going to read all that. I would think they would glance over all that and look at the resume. Leave all that to the interview. Just my opinion. Good luck.
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Keep the cover letter short as possible. I used to post an ad on Monster on Friday afternoon and get over 300 e-mails by Monday morning. I would ignore the cover letters and look at the resumes first. If the resume looked good I might go back and read the cover letter looking for specific tasks and project accomplished. I eventually had an assistant screen the e-mails for me.
Are you responding to an ad or just fishing? Have you had any previous contact with Mr. Anderson? Do you know if they are trying to fill a position and what their criteria are for that position (job description)? Try to match your resume and cover letter to those criteria if you know what they are. Good luck! |
Just read an article written by some hiring authorities that said in part ask for the interview. So ask, or better yet, state that you will call that person on a certain date and then do it.
Shorten your cover letter to two paragraphs composed of short, easy to read sentences. Pique their curiosity by mentioning a few of your accomplishments so they'll want to read the attached resume to see what else you achieved in your career. Good luck! |
Are you looking for a perm job or a contract?
If you are looking for contract work, no cover letter. List tools and languages, operating systems etc on top of resume. than explain in job descriptions. I placed contractors for years and the managers I have dealt with didn't care if a resume was 2 or 20 pages. They wanted to see what they were looking for quickly, sort the resumes, and than go back and read in more detail the job descriptions. I still have a ton of friends in the business and I can hook you up with an awesome national tech recruiter if you are interested. Also, write you resume to cater to a specific job your going for. |
PS Casi Rusco in Fl called me the other day and they are looking for SW/firmware developers perm. I am out of the business but
I can get more info. I know your IT, but somewhere along the line most of you guys have been developers |
Originally posted by KaamaScarab30 I'd hire you and I can't even tell what the f@ck you do.:D :D :D That is toooo funny. I agree!:D Dock, Your "other notable achievemnts" will be a part of your resume and should not be included in a cover letter. The last two paragraphs are a little repetative and maybe you can combine the two. It is a cover letter and should be brief. I don't understand the "Soul sucking current company". If that is included I don't think it is inappropriate along with any other sarcasm or the need for comments in parenthasis (sp). If I misread please clarify. Aside from that you are well written and bring interest to your motive for employment. Leave it be for a while, then re-read. Don't rush anything. You abviously have the experince, let that show in your resume. Good Luck |
Geez, louise guys - good input, but the paranthetical statements and other "asides" were put in just to disguise the actual company names and whatnot. Give me a little credit, I don't think putting "soul-sucking current company" is going to win me an interview! :D
I'll rework this tomorrow - it usually helps if I sleep on it a bit. Thanks much for the advice... |
ok i get it just trying to help. racing ain't all i do. :)
Treadewll |
ok i lied. :) :)
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Originally posted by Treadwellmotorsports ok i lied. :) :) Too funny Eric!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D |
Dockrocker,
The cover letter should be short and ask for an interview. Do not repeat points that are on your resume. Info about the company to which you are applying is a big plus. I get a lot of IT resume's and to be honest I am still a fan of no more than two pages. Perhaps you can compile a project list that is available on request if the employer wants more detail than the key project bullets on the resume. Although, I realize I may be alone on that thought. As someone pointed out already the cover letter and resume are just to get the interview. It is also important not to recite your resume in the interview, so leave something to talk about. Good luck. Steve |
whats the problem nort,
think i can handle a pen :) :) :) just kiddin, your right.:) |
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