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The new Bill of Rights

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Old 06-28-2003, 01:26 PM
  #1
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Talking The new Bill of Rights


"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold
these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of
people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so
dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."
>
>
> ARTICLE I:
>
> You do not have the right to a new car, big screen
> TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if
> you can legally acquire them, but no one is
> guaranteeing anything.
>
> ARTICLE II:
>
> You do not have the right to never be offended. This
> country is based on freedom, and that means freedom
> for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the
> room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
> etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably
> always will be ... and like the rest of us you need
> to simply deal with it.
>
>
> ARTICLE III:

> You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
> you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be
> more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to
> make you and all your relatives independently
> wealthy.
>
>
> ARTICLE IV:
>
> You do not have the right to free food and housing.
> Americans are the most charitable people to be
> found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
> are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
> after generation of professional couch potatoes who
> achieve nothing more than the creation of another
> generation of professional couch potatoes.
>
>
> ARTICLE V:
>
> You do not have the right to free health care. That
> would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
> we're just not interested in public health care.
>
> ARTICLE VI:
>
> You do not have the right to physically harm other
> people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or
> kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us
> want to see you fry in the electric chair.
>
>
> ARTICLE VII:
>
> You do not have the right to the possessions of
> others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods
> or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if
> the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
> place where you still won't have the right to a big
> screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms or a life
> of leisure.
>
>
> ARTICLE VIII:
>
> You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure
> want you to have a job, and will gladly help you
> along in hard times, but we expect you to take
> advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs,
> education and vocational training laid before you to
> make yourself useful.
>
> ARTICLE IX:
>
> You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
> American means that you have the right to PURSUE
> happiness --which by the way, is a lot easier if you
> are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
> created by those of you who were confused by the
> Bill of Rights,"
>
>
> ARTICLE X:
>
> This is an English speaking country. We don't care
> where you are from. We welcome you here. English is
> our language and like the one you left behind, we
> also have a culture.

Learn it or go back to the country and the living conditions you were fleeing.
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Old 06-28-2003, 01:35 PM
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I like it!
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Old 06-28-2003, 01:39 PM
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Amen!!
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Old 06-28-2003, 01:53 PM
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You can put my John Henry on your Bill of Rights
 
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Old 06-30-2003, 12:38 AM
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Old 07-01-2003, 01:26 PM
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Any input from the Catman??
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Old 07-01-2003, 02:00 PM
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Good one, Nick........
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Old 07-01-2003, 02:43 PM
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I concur!
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Old 07-01-2003, 04:58 PM
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Well said Nick..
I really agree with Art. X. It has a special meaning for me... because I'm from South Florida...

"Hey Mang! Jus what is dat suppos to meang?"
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Old 07-01-2003, 06:16 PM
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i second that bill of rights , baja daze for president. you need to run in 2004 ! i doi't have any money but will work for boat ride and beer .
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