This guide has been put together to assist the Ricer in determining the proper Combined Ricer Added Power Horsepower level, otherwise known as CRAP HP.

Stickers - 10HP per sticker. 5HP bonus if the sticker is on both glass and metal. 10HP bonus if you put two of the same stickers on symetrically, each side.

Emblems - 15HP per emblem. Red Rs are worth 20HP.

Fart cannons - 5HP per inch of diameter, multiply by number of exit pipes showing and divide by .5 for total HP

Wings - 1HP added per inch off trunk lid, multiply total inches by degree of rake divided by 4 for total HP (3 inches times 30 degrees of rake equals 90HP, divided by 4 = 23HP (always round up)). Double for double wings. A roof wing is worth 20HP, only if used in conjunction with a rear wing. Otherwise a roof wing is worth 30HP.

Blue headlights - 10HP

White tail lights - 10HP

Gaudy color - Refer to the Ricer Coolgaud guide for a reference to color vs HP. If two colors on the list are included, add the color values together, divide by 1.5. 3 or more colors, divide by 1.7. Big Bird Yellow is automatically worth 30HP, and other colors are added to this after calculations are complete. Do not include Big Bird Yellow in the Coolgaud calcualtions.

Wheel size - +5HP per inch oversize.

Height - +5HP per inch lowered. Bonus 20HP if lowering is accomplished through airbags

Interior - +20HP if color coordinated with the outside. The easiest way to accomplish this is to have the car painted with the windows down.

Stripes - 3HP per stripe

Carbon Fiber - .12HP per square inch of carbon fiber tape. A hood or deck lid is worth 50HP ONLY IF UNPAINTED.

Misc Lighting - 1HP for each instance.

Audio - 10HP per 10dB of power realized. Sound quality is not (unfortunately) considered here. A blown speaker will not detract from this power rating unless it decreases overall volume.

Misc - If the add-on used is an actual option for the car, multiply the HP value of that part by 0.8. If it belongs on a higher level car within the same manufacturer, multiply the HP value of that part by 1.2.

After the above is completed, multiply the final amount by 0.73, then round up. This will display your pre-CRAP HP level.

Multiply the overall pre-CRAP HP value by 1.5 if any mention of a supercharger is on the vehicle. Multiply the overall HP value derived by 2 if you have a NO2 bottle visible from the outside. The bottle does not actually have to be hooked up. Multiply the overall HP value by 2.5 if any mention of a turbo charger is on the car. If dual turbos, multiply by 2.75. If there is no mention of one of these three power-adders, your pre-CRAP HP level will be your CRAP HP level.

Brought to you by Speeder Laughworks, commited to making your day go better by poking fun at the lesser crowd.

is the word "Titanium" worth anything. It sure works well at the golf pro-shop.

I wish I still had the opal kadett we put a 327 in sometime in the late 60's. That would probably be a big hit now. Although, it didnt make that "ring ring ring" fart noise the toy cars do now.