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Old 08-05-2003, 02:54 PM
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Unhappy Obituary

Obituary


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge lawsuit settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still know him pass this on, if not you can give him a second death.
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Old 08-05-2003, 03:00 PM
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Hmmm, good one to pass on....
 
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Old 08-05-2003, 03:08 PM
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Amen

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Old 08-05-2003, 03:11 PM
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Shame...didn't stand a chance in today's world.
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Old 08-05-2003, 03:16 PM
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I hear ya
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Old 08-05-2003, 03:45 PM
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SO SO TRUE
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Old 08-05-2003, 05:32 PM
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Now that was good
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Old 08-05-2003, 11:39 PM
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Sad...but true.
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Old 08-06-2003, 12:13 AM
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Default Doesn't surprise me....

He was in critical condition for years.
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Old 08-06-2003, 12:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cigwillie
He was in critical condition for years.
Many years!!!
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