I had a hot little boat babe tell me how cool the built in steps "K Planes" on the back of the boat were, as I helped her on and off the boat while holding her world class azz. Never did put the ladder down.

While launching last week a guy asked me if I was in the upcoming bass tournement. I said sure and I'll get out to the best spots first. He said yeah but that things a little loud may scare off the fish.

Like only HALF of it would be yours????

Ya'll could provide Jeff Foxworthy with alot of material for "You might be a boating redneck if..........."

"How many does she sleep? -- Small boat, so I usually say "Well, four if you stack-em properly, but then nobody sleeps much cause of all the distraction from the adjoining "stack". --- Jer

You don't fish on it!
So what did that run you, 35 or 40 ?
So whats it got in it, a 350? (31 Sonic)
But funniest was from the boat OWNER, blown flat bottem drag boat. I asked "you have a fat block?" Answer: "No, its a 454" I actually kept a straight face.

THIS IS A GOOD ONE.
THESE DUMB ASS GUYS ASKED WHO IS REGGIE FOUNTAIN. WE HAVE A SIGNATURE SERIES FOUNTAIN WITH THE NAME ON THE SIDE. MY NEIGHBORS AT THE LAKE FOR THE LONGEST TIME THOUGHT THAT WAS MY NAME,WHY WOULD I PUT MY NAME ON IT.

While at the corner gas station filling boat up. As we are standing at the transom & one one out drive is staring us in the face. Does that boat have 2 motors?

Why do you have two motors?- Because I can!

Do you go fishing in it?- Yes, we catch alot of two-legged tuna!

shoot out weekend at the gas dock, dock girl says as were pulling in boy that thing is long my oldest son kind-of laughs and on her second breath out comes kinda hard to get in, everyone on the boat laughs and she starts to blush

later

Last year my boat trailer was rear-ended on the road. The person that hit me was insured by Allstate. Naturally, Allstate contacted me to answer some questions for their paperwork. Here is the conversation with the "marine adjuster" from Allstate...


Allstate: What is the make of the boat?

Me: Cigarette.

Allstate: No, I need the manufacturer of the boat.

Me: Cigarette.

Allstate: Sir, I understand that it is a Cigarette boat, but what I need is the name of the company that built the boat.

Me: Cigarette. That is the name of a boat company, not a type of boat. It is kinda like Q-tip and Kleenex.

Allstate: Oh, ok. So Cigarette is the manufacturer?

Me: Yes.

Allstate: What is the model?

Me: It is a canopied Gladiator.

Allstate: Excuse me?

Me: The model of the boat is called a Gladiator, but this boat also has a specialized cockpit canopy for racing.

Allstate: I see Gladiator here, but I don't have a listing for a canopied Gladiator. Is this a standard model from Cigarette?

Me: No, it is one of three.

Allstate: They only build three of these a year?

Me: No, it is one of three ever built.

Allstate: Oh my.


Later in the conversation....


Allstate: What was damaged as a result of the accident.

Me: The drive guard on the trailer and the right hand drive.

Allstate: What is the make and model of the trailer?

Me: It is built by a company called Myco, but there is not a designated model.

Allstate: Sir, there has to be a model name or number.

Me: There is not a specific model name because every trailer is built specifically to fit the boat it is carrying. Every trailer is different. It all depends on what setup and options the owner wants.

Allstate: I will still need a model name to research the value of the trailer.

Me: Sorry, can't help you there, but I do have receipts and the build sheets.

Allstate: Well, you do understand that boat trailers depreciate rapidly as they age.

Me: Ok.

Allstate: How old is the trailer?

Me: About 5 weeks.

Allstate: Really?

Me: Yes.

Allstate: Oh my.


Later in the conversation...


Allstate: Other than the trailer, what else did you say was damaged?

Me: The right hand drive.

Allstate: It does not matter which side you drive the boat from, all I need is a list of damages.

Me: The drive itself was damaged.

Allstate: I don't understand.

Me: The drive is the part that sticks out the back of the boat and spins the propeller.

Allstate: Oh, so the engine was damaged?

Me: No, just the drive.

Allstate: Well isn't that part of the engine?

Me: No.

Allstate: I don't understand. The engine and the propeller are all one piece off the back of the boat, right?

Me: No. You are thinking of an outboard engine.

Allstate: Ok. I have three boxes here and I need to check one of them. I have Inboard, Outboard and I/O. Which one of these do you have.

Me: Check the box next to I/O......


And to think that this was their "marine adjuster" or at least someone at Allstate claiming to be a marine adjuster. That is a scary thought, but that was the actual conversation. No joke.

I get this all the time. "Can you ski behind it?" (28 Scarab)