Shah Mat

Is there a way, maybe a web site to find an attorney in your area that are highly recommended? I have an ongoing case that needs a good attorney. The almost 4k on the last one didn't get me very far... Actually lost some of what I already had. Custody battles really suck, all that gets hurt is the child. Tis the season huh?
I'm not trying to get full physical and legal custody, just shared. I want to keep the same visitation schedule that we have had for the last 6 years and so does my daughter....

liquid lounge

Lawyers definitly have their place in divorce proceedings, but when it comes to child custody, you will find, that EVENTUALLY, your best ally will not be the law, which is normally cut and dry unless there are very extenuating circumstances [no matter how unfit you think the ***** is]. Your best ally is a most unlikely one; your ex wife!! Yes, I know, this easier said than done, but given enough time, dscernment, and desire you will eventually see your child a fair amount of time. Nobody can become his/her father unless you step away. Good Luck, I know how you are feeling....it will get better.

Shah Mat

Thanks Guys,
My daughter is almost 12 and her mom and I were never married (luckily... that would be a few more k's) and we split up 6 years ago. I have bit my tongue, gritted my teeth and bent over backward pleasing her for those 6 years to avoid court intervention. Well her current boyfriend is coaching her now and told her that we need a court order in place. Went to court Oct 1st and I feel that the Judge and the Guardian at Litem was "mother biased". I'm not trying to screw her out of custody, child support or any time with her daughter, I just want things to remain the same as they have been for the last 6 years..... 50/50 visitation. My daughter wants the same. I think the mother is getting insecure as our daughter gets older because she liked to stay at my house more often than her mom's.

X-Rated30

Here is the best idea for finding a lawyer. Do you know any attorneys that have been in a custody battle? Ask that lawyer who he/she used, and then ask how they thought their lawyer did. We are the most demanding clients in existence.

Also,if you have friends that are lawyers, they will know which attorneys have been through this sort of thing, and they can tell you. Then just call that lawyer whether you know them or not. If they were satisfied with their attorney, they will be happy to refer you. If they weren't satisfied, they will be thrilled to have someone to b!tch to.

Trust me on this one.

Phknlwyr

The best lawyer in the world cannot make a better agreement than the one AGREED UPON VOLUNTARILY by you and the child's mother. Even if you feel that you get screwed, the custody/visitation/support order is a piece of paper that provides rules. You and the mother may agree to eschew certain of the contents of the order. Sometimes the order is just a means of securing a position without regard to enforcing the terms.

The best bet is to go for joint legal and physical custody. Legal custody means you make the decisions for the child by mutual agreement. Physical custody identifies the parent with the superior custody rights - i.e. the parent with whom the child resides full time, subject to the other parent's right to visitation. You would not be harmed by agreeing to give her physical custody with liberal visitation. I would stand firm on legal custody as you should have equal say in major decisions in the child's life.

If you do agree to give her physical custody, try to include in the agreement that the mother may not move more than x miles from her present location so that she cannot interfere with your right to visitation.

Come to think of it, PM with your number. I am admitted in Virginia but have not tried a custody case there. I have done quite a few in Maryland.

Charmed1

Joey, unfortunately been there done that. I used Paul Scott in Springfield, VA I think the number is
703-451-1600 or 1800. Call information on Backlick Rd. Not cheap but he did a great job for me. My ex and I were able to work everything out (divorce, visitation, support and custody) with out the legal system until his current wife came into the picture. She tried to reduce visitation and support for the boys. He reduced his hours at work once the deposition was done and when we went into court the judge saw what he had done from the discovery process. She not only did not lower the support but in the state of Virginia visitation is an option for the party that does not have joint or sole custody. He was not seeing the boys on his scheduled every other weekend (he and his wife choice) and had the nerve to ask for more visitation in court. Can you imagine how disappointing it was when there dad did not show? The judge did change the visitation from optional to ORDER. Several months later is became very uncomfortable for the boys to visit with him, her three children and there daughter so his wife gave him an ultimatum, choose your family and he did, the one he lives with. In the courts eyes he is now in contempt, I could take him back to court but why bother. The boys are the only ones that suffer. They have made there decision about there dad and I have not made comments to them about his behavior. One day they will be men and it will be there dads loss. The most important thing to remember is the child. Good luck with your situation.

Shah Mat

Thanks Audra,

I know of Paul Scott, my mom knows his brother Bill very well. Bill actually is a attorney also and I have heard both of them are very good at family law. Bill no longer does domestic cases and only works for local dealerships doing repos now. It seems he has made his life and is now enjoying it. He called Paul for me but it was going to be too expensive for him to work on a case 3 counties away. Paul recommended someone who is also out of the county. I talked with someone yesterday who helped me quite a bit. Hopefully things will work out.

That is sad to hear about your boys situation. I hear that sortof thing all the time. You're right....one day kids grow up..... and they remember..