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(Comedy) Best Boat Ramp Story??

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Old 03-06-2004, 10:27 PM
  #11
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Haha some funny ones, keep them coming!
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Old 03-06-2004, 10:58 PM
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I remember going to a boat race just above New York Harbor on the Hudson River about 20 something years ago. There was this guy who cut in front of everybody on the ramp. He had a black 21' Checkmate with a 225 Merc. At that time (1980) this was the cats-meow (of course not as cool as a George Linder Challenger, but pretty cool anyhow). Now this guy was really obnoxious. He just bought the boat from Marty OíNeil and he was cool and tough. Yeah, this guy was tough alright, and he was pushy too and he knew everything. Well, to cut a long story short, the guy pulls his trailer into the water and lets his boat sit on the trailer making us all wait. He then goes up to his buddy's truck to grab a beer before he actually launches the boat. He tells his girl friend to go sit in the boat and wait for him. While he took his time drinking his beer, a big tug boat came by and generated a massive 6' wake. I couldn't believe the size of this wake. I didn't know tugs could do this. I think they did it on purpose. Anyway, we were all telling the guy (I won't mention names) he better launch his boat pretty quick. He said, "Shut the f**k up.. I'll do it when I am good and ready!" Of course, you know what happened next. Your right, the tug boat wake came in and lifted the big shot's boat right into the parking lot. The crowd went hysterical! The girl friend was just sitting in the boat in the middle of parking lot - crying. Would you believe the guy started screaming at her like it was her fault. We all told the guy we would help him as soon as we launched our boats... yeah, maybe sometime tomorrow! Ha! Ha!
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Old 03-07-2004, 12:19 AM
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Nothing is worse than a slippery ramp coated with algae. It seems no matter what size boat the rear wheel drive trucks canít get them out. I watched a Tahoe, several pickups, an older Ford Diesel have to give it up because they werenít getting the traction needed. They had to get the marina staff to pull them out with tractors. What were we going to do with my 22 footer? We were driving a Ĺ ton Sierra with no weight in the rear. Knowing that we had NO chance we thought we might use my FWD car. We switched tow vehicles while waiting in line. When it was my turn I backed the trailer in, no problem. I got out and walked to the winch and just about busted my azz because ramp was so slick. I took comfort in noticing that the front wheels were on nearly dry pavement. I hooked it up and it pulled out easily with only the slightest amount of front wheel spin which was nixed by the traction control. Did I tow it all the way home? Heck no it is only a Dodge Intrepid. Switched back to my buddies Sierra 1500 for that.

Got lucky
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Old 03-07-2004, 02:40 AM
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Old 03-07-2004, 07:09 AM
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The tug story was great!!
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Old 03-07-2004, 08:02 AM
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Geez which newbie story do I choose to tell....Well last year while sitting in my boat waiting for my turn to come out at the ramp there is this real newbie couple pulling out thier 24'ish cuddy crusier. The wife is trying to drive this thing on the trailer, its takes her forever, the husband just keeps yelling at her..."the other way....faster....slower...blah blah blah" Funny as crap. So she finally gets this thing on the trailer and yells "Ok...got it on" well he's so anoyed at her by now that when he hears this he just yanks the boat right out of the water.

So I'm this pretty nice guy so I decide to yell at her "Hey....turn off your boat", which was left on and in gear because the prop is spinning like crazy still....she says thanks...so I yell back "raise the outdrive" which is already dragging. I think her husband hears me too cause he then just stops the truck to yell at her some more. Im actually surprised the boat didnt roll off the trailer too because I know he didnt winch it on at this time yet either. I dont think they did anything right and decided to make thier mayden voyage on a busy saturday. Man I love hanging out at the launch ramps watching impatient newbies!!
 
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Old 03-07-2004, 08:12 AM
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One other story that I really liked was watching this old 70s one wheel drive Ford try to pull out this HUGE sail boat. First off this truck hardly ran, was puffing white smoke like crazy. This boat really needed a 1-ton truck, anyways this truck is just spinning its one wheel like crazy, goes a couple feet up the ramp then slides back down, burnt rubber and smoke everywhere. After about 15 minutes of this around 10-12 guys jump in the back of the pickup, still has trouble but somehow spins its way up the ramp. Just in time too because he over heated his engine and the thing blew right there at the top of the ramp!!! I felt sorta bad for the guy but the whole thing was funny as crap
 
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Old 03-07-2004, 08:31 AM
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Heard a story a few years back a guy who bought a 20s something boat and couldnt get it on plane.. after complaning to the marina they found his trailer was still connected(he didnt know he had to take it off thought it was a package) didnt witness that one but pretty FF..
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Old 03-07-2004, 10:09 AM
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I had just bought my first boat, a 242 Formula and we were waiting for the trailer that I had bought to be delivered to the Marina. Upon it's arrival, we then trailered the Formula on the dealer's trailer, and my new trailer, to the ramp to do the switch. There were two of the Boat companies employees, (two salesmen) and myself. Well Billy backed "Synergy" down the ramp and we off loaded the boat. Then the other guy backed my new trailer down. We got Synergy on the new trailer and pulled it up the ramp. Well about 40 ft. up the ramp (long ramps because of the 16 ft. tides) Billy notices the other salesman hadn't put the safety chains on and yells at him to stop the truck. We both walked up, Billy starts to reach down to hook up the chains, off pops the trailer from the truck, Billy and I both grab the front of the trailer stupidly thinking we were actually going to be able to hold it. Well the trailer starts rolling backwards down the ramp, concrete wall on one side and giant boulders on the other, and all we can do is basically steer the trailer down into the water to keep it from bouncing off either the boulders or the concrete wall. We finally got it stopped with us about knee deep in freezing cold ass Atlantic Ocean water (Maine) and once we'd realized that we'd actually kept the boat from being damanged started laughing so hard we almost pissed ourselves. After we stopped laughing I never heard anybody get cussed out as bad as Billy did that other idiot salesman. We were just very lucky it didn't crash into the wall or the boulders.
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Old 03-07-2004, 10:20 AM
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Another one:

My brother (we don't presently get along AT ALL), was getting set to do a sea trail for his possible second boat, a 24 ft. something with 350 Merc and Alpha outdrive. His first boat, same size, was on a bunk style trailer. That's the style he was acquainted with. This second boat was on a roller trailer. Well the guy who owns the boat is backing it down the local ramp here and he's about ten ft. from the waters edge and my brother walks over to unhook the winch strap from the bow eye. I yelled over to him "I wouldn't do that if I were you" and got a "will you stop telling me what do do" in return. So I shut up. So he unhooks the winch strap, the guy is still slowly backing up, the boat starts to roll backwards off the trailer, my brother gives out a blood curdling yell, the guy in the truck slams on the brakes, which only makes the boat roll off the trailer harders. Bam, it slams down on the concrete. I just casually yelled at them, "uh, you missed the water...)
I looked at my brother and just smiled, walked away to my truck and left him there to deal with the owner of the boat. He bought it. He's just one of those types that knows everything about everything and you can't even think about trying to make a suggestion to him. It was priceless..
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