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Old 05-12-2004, 12:32 PM
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Default Quickie jokes and cartoons

Quickies

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure; What was her maiden name?"
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all," "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really
good with the kids.
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
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This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."
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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
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A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!"
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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
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Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, Grandpa." He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say '*******' afterwards."
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:38 PM
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Default About to be a bad day!

Oh CH*T!

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Old 05-12-2004, 12:56 PM
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here u go
 
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:56 PM
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i got lots of dumb funny stuff
 
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:57 PM
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...
 
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:57 PM
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whos your froggy
 
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Old 05-12-2004, 12:59 PM
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one more
 
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Old 05-12-2004, 01:00 PM
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Default Hey Mom!

This is good stuff!

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Old 05-12-2004, 01:02 PM
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Default Be careful who you let

babysit your children

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Old 05-12-2004, 01:03 PM
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mine are all bad sorry...
 
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