Twas The Afternoon Before Christmas - Offshore Only.Com Version
12-12-2004 | 11:31 AM
#1
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,737
Likes: 1
From: Toms River, NJ
Twas The Afternoon Before Christmas - Offshore Only.Com Version
I was searching though some files on the laptop and came across this once again! Tis the season! 
‘Twas the afternoon before Christmas and all down the shore
Not a boatsman was moving, all still, not a roar
Me in my Bermuda’s my wife in her thong
Had just tripped the stand UP’s, nothing was wrong
My engines were blown, the boat all dialed in
It’s no wake past the pier head’s, then throttle you can
The waves were 4 footer’s the air it was warm
We cruised at near 60 in style and good form
When off to my port side I heard a faint howl
It looked like a skater with a massive humped cowl
My wife said he’s gaining better give her you’re all
So I grabbed the sticks and shoved straight to the wall
The tab’s were down slightly the 5’s fully out
I was certain we’d beat him, I had no doubt
At a quick glance behind me, we seemed pulling away
But I was mistaken, couldn’t hold him at bay
My engine’s were twisting as fast as I dare
This Larry Smith move’s if you give it some air
I bump up the tabs and hold on for dear life
A look around the cockpit hey where’s my wife
Well I cant stop now, he’s still on my 6
So it’s full speed ahead , another shove on the sticks
To my disappointment he pulls along side
Only to reveal he’s got my bride
It was a skater her name was sleigh belle
A fat man was driving like a bat out of hell
His long white beard blew up in his face
His bright red Speedo held tightly in place
The spray from his outdrives lit in my eye’s
I awaken abruptly to realize
I had fallen asleep while waxing below
And a crack under the garage door reviles all the snow
A dream it all was, what a relief
What’s this on my sun deck as I gaze in disbelief
A package, a present, a neatly wrapped box
I rip it wide open, 2 lab finished props
There taped on one blade a hand written note
With a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat
Here is the words that Santa wrote
“If you want to run with me kid put these on your boat”
Once again my Christmas won’t be a bomb
And MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL HERE AT OFFSHOREONLY.COM
* Written by - J-BOAT on OFFSHOREONLY.COM
‘Twas the afternoon before Christmas and all down the shore
Not a boatsman was moving, all still, not a roar
Me in my Bermuda’s my wife in her thong
Had just tripped the stand UP’s, nothing was wrong
My engines were blown, the boat all dialed in
It’s no wake past the pier head’s, then throttle you can
The waves were 4 footer’s the air it was warm
We cruised at near 60 in style and good form
When off to my port side I heard a faint howl
It looked like a skater with a massive humped cowl
My wife said he’s gaining better give her you’re all
So I grabbed the sticks and shoved straight to the wall
The tab’s were down slightly the 5’s fully out
I was certain we’d beat him, I had no doubt
At a quick glance behind me, we seemed pulling away
But I was mistaken, couldn’t hold him at bay
My engine’s were twisting as fast as I dare
This Larry Smith move’s if you give it some air
I bump up the tabs and hold on for dear life
A look around the cockpit hey where’s my wife
Well I cant stop now, he’s still on my 6
So it’s full speed ahead , another shove on the sticks
To my disappointment he pulls along side
Only to reveal he’s got my bride
It was a skater her name was sleigh belle
A fat man was driving like a bat out of hell
His long white beard blew up in his face
His bright red Speedo held tightly in place
The spray from his outdrives lit in my eye’s
I awaken abruptly to realize
I had fallen asleep while waxing below
And a crack under the garage door reviles all the snow
A dream it all was, what a relief
What’s this on my sun deck as I gaze in disbelief
A package, a present, a neatly wrapped box
I rip it wide open, 2 lab finished props
There taped on one blade a hand written note
With a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat
Here is the words that Santa wrote
“If you want to run with me kid put these on your boat”
Once again my Christmas won’t be a bomb
And MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL HERE AT OFFSHOREONLY.COM
* Written by - J-BOAT on OFFSHOREONLY.COM
12-12-2004 | 10:30 PM
#7
VIP Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,467
Likes: 8
From: Lake Champlain, NY
Re: Twas The Afternoon Before Christmas - Offshore Only.Com Version
Originally Posted by DaveP
I was searching though some files on the laptop and came across this once again! Tis the season!
‘Twas the afternoon before Christmas and all down the shore
Not a boatsman was moving, all still, not a roar
Me in my Bermuda’s my wife in her thong
Had just tripped the stand UP’s, nothing was wrong
My engines were blown, the boat all dialed in
It’s no wake past the pier head’s, then throttle you can
The waves were 4 footer’s the air it was warm
We cruised at near 60 in style and good form
When off to my port side I heard a faint howl
It looked like a skater with a massive humped cowl
My wife said he’s gaining better give her you’re all
So I grabbed the sticks and shoved straight to the wall
The tab’s were down slightly the 5’s fully out
I was certain we’d beat him, I had no doubt
At a quick glance behind me, we seemed pulling away
But I was mistaken, couldn’t hold him at bay
My engine’s were twisting as fast as I dare
This Larry Smith move’s if you give it some air
I bump up the tabs and hold on for dear life
A look around the cockpit hey where’s my wife
Well I cant stop now, he’s still on my 6
So it’s full speed ahead , another shove on the sticks
To my disappointment he pulls along side
Only to reveal he’s got my bride
It was a skater her name was sleigh belle
A fat man was driving like a bat out of hell
His long white beard blew up in his face
His bright red Speedo held tightly in place
The spray from his outdrives lit in my eye’s
I awaken abruptly to realize
I had fallen asleep while waxing below
And a crack under the garage door reviles all the snow
A dream it all was, what a relief
What’s this on my sun deck as I gaze in disbelief
A package, a present, a neatly wrapped box
I rip it wide open, 2 lab finished props
There taped on one blade a hand written note
With a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat
Here is the words that Santa wrote
“If you want to run with me kid put these on your boat”
Once again my Christmas won’t be a bomb
And MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL HERE AT OFFSHOREONLY.COM
* Written by - J-BOAT on OFFSHOREONLY.COM
‘Twas the afternoon before Christmas and all down the shore
Not a boatsman was moving, all still, not a roar
Me in my Bermuda’s my wife in her thong
Had just tripped the stand UP’s, nothing was wrong
My engines were blown, the boat all dialed in
It’s no wake past the pier head’s, then throttle you can
The waves were 4 footer’s the air it was warm
We cruised at near 60 in style and good form
When off to my port side I heard a faint howl
It looked like a skater with a massive humped cowl
My wife said he’s gaining better give her you’re all
So I grabbed the sticks and shoved straight to the wall
The tab’s were down slightly the 5’s fully out
I was certain we’d beat him, I had no doubt
At a quick glance behind me, we seemed pulling away
But I was mistaken, couldn’t hold him at bay
My engine’s were twisting as fast as I dare
This Larry Smith move’s if you give it some air
I bump up the tabs and hold on for dear life
A look around the cockpit hey where’s my wife
Well I cant stop now, he’s still on my 6
So it’s full speed ahead , another shove on the sticks
To my disappointment he pulls along side
Only to reveal he’s got my bride
It was a skater her name was sleigh belle
A fat man was driving like a bat out of hell
His long white beard blew up in his face
His bright red Speedo held tightly in place
The spray from his outdrives lit in my eye’s
I awaken abruptly to realize
I had fallen asleep while waxing below
And a crack under the garage door reviles all the snow
A dream it all was, what a relief
What’s this on my sun deck as I gaze in disbelief
A package, a present, a neatly wrapped box
I rip it wide open, 2 lab finished props
There taped on one blade a hand written note
With a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat
Here is the words that Santa wrote
“If you want to run with me kid put these on your boat”
Once again my Christmas won’t be a bomb
And MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL HERE AT OFFSHOREONLY.COM
* Written by - J-BOAT on OFFSHOREONLY.COM
A Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night.
Santa
P.S. Don't forget the f-ing cookies, Beotch-
