Bart: "Hey Flanders gave me a Krusty Brand Operation Game" (Bart takes the Tweezers and the buzzer goes off) The Krusty game says "hey you just tweezer'd my wang"

Homer:" A gun is not a weapon Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife, or a harpoon, or... or an alligator."

Homer:" Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in there every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

Homer: "Bart! With $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things... like love."

Homer:" You don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo - that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!!!"

Homer: "You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said 'Homer, you're a big disappointment.' And God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

Episode when Otto moves in with them and is playing his guitar and Homer walks in and says.... "QUIET ! I cant hear myself think" the music stops and his brain says "I want some peanuts"

And PS.. there is no one on this board that can beat me in Simpsons Trivia

Bart; "Trojan, Ramses, Magnum, Sheik" - and all the zombies go back to the grave. Treehouse of Horror III.

Homer: "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."