Boat Rules
 

WELCOME ABOARD
1. Always offer money for gas, not bad to have a badass boat, a driver, and all the watertoys that go along with it for the day. This does not even cover the cost of gas for the boat, plus there is so much more maintenance, insurance, trailer tags, boat storage, registration, and gas for the truck to get the boat to the Lake.
2. Always offer to clean the boat. Cleaning usually means wiping down the boat at the end of the day, but if you are a regular you should volunteer to do more. On the days when it is blown out come over and help wax, or clean the interior. Maybe show up one day with some cleaner because that stuff is expensive to.
3. Never invite someone else to come along without first talking to the boat owner, unless she is hot, I mean real hot, and don’t bring her boyfriend.
4. Never ride first unless you are told by the owner to go. The owner gets to choose whether or not he wants the first glass. More often then not he will defer to someone else.
5. Never let the owner go last. He has to have his fun too.
6. Always volunteer to drive, or at least try to learn if you are a regular boat whore.
7. Watch what you bring in the boat. Doritos and Cheetos taste great, but having them rubbed in the carpet is not. Also, finding a Dorito 2 weeks later that is hidden by something is not pleasant. No RED SODA or drinks
8. Always take off your shoes when getting in the boat, even if the owner does not. It is his investment to treat the way that he wants, not yours. Try to not step on the seats, sometimes you can not help it but try.
9. Bring something to drink (not necessarily beer but highly encouraged). Water and Cokes and stuff, but only cans. Never bring glass.
10. If you can only be there for 30 minutes, and then you have to leave, do not bother coming. There are very few things worse then having to stop and take someone back to the dock. Also, it kills the riding time.
11. Do not ride for more then 15 minutes, just be conservative and everyone will get another chance. Everybody else in the boat has to ride too, but if the owner wants to ride for 40 minutes let him. It is his boat and he can.
12. If children are invited, my rules apply (under my roof, my rules). Don't even cherish the thought of letting the lil' ones run amok. Tell your kids not to touch the cool buttons on the dashboard.
13. When sleeping-over, bring your sleeping bag or own linens.
14. Don't mess with the boats stereo unless you’re asked.
15. Dress appropriately, non-markings shoes without heels, etc etc etc, warmer clothing once the sun sets......skimpy thong bikinis if you are so inclined, naked is good (women only!) (Speedos are always wrong for men - don't bring your banana hammock on anyone’s boat) :eek:
16. Stay seated until the boat is completely docked - everyone's first instinct is to stand up when we're close but there may be nothing you can do other than get in the way while those with lines are trying to get through - usually trying to make my lame attempt to dock look good
17. Bring your own cooler and not a 70 gallon one, unless it filled with beer...

Well, all that said, let’s go have some fun, See you on the water.

Re: Boat Rules
 

#1 - why can't our carp friends figure this one out?

#16 - a classic...spot on!

#18 (new) - don't ask if you can drive...you have no clue what you are doing.

Re: Boat Rules
 

If meeting at the dock:


BE ON TIME.........

Re: Boat Rules
 

I'm printing it and taping it to the lift.

Re: Boat Rules
 

I will take the plastic bottles over cans for the Non beer drinks,
you can reseal them.

Re: Boat Rules
 

SOOOOO TRUE :rolleyes: :mad:

Re: Boat Rules
 

You forgot one very important rule:
#19- No fat chicks in BIKINI"S!!!! That should be rules #1. :evilb:

Re: Boat Rules
 

#20 Dont bring the biech from heil wich ya either!

Re: Boat Rules
 

#21 BE ON TIME or don't accept the invitation.....'cause I aint waitin on your ass!

Re: Boat Rules
 

Hell yea, nothin worse than a couple arguing, I told one girl one time that if she didnt stop being such a b!tch to everyone she was going overboard, we woond up dropping her off and my buddy broke up with her the next week.

Re: Boat Rules
 

Man do I ever hear ya on this one.

A couple of years ago I agreed to bring another couple along who were good friends of my wife. I'd met them twice before and didn't care for her at all. One of those "nitpicker" types.

We picked them up at Marina Jack and the first thing I noticed is she's dressed like she's going to a friggin ball for christ's sake. First thing I tell her, lose the shoes. She's gets kinda crabby and I just said "no shoes or no boat ride". She agreed, pissy. While docked I spend about five minutes going over the "basics", particularly that they could expect to be cruising around 50/55 mph. I wasn't going to go all out but I wasn't going to go 25 either. Anyway they say their ready and off we go.

We don't get three minutes going north up Sarasota Bay and she starts complaining about her hair getting blown into knots, so Deb tosses her a hair band and tells her to put it inot a pony tail. She says, "I never wear pony tails". Deb and I looked at each other and Deb tosses her a hat. Now at this point we're going maybe 35/40. She then says, "I don't wear hats cause they mess up my hair". That was it, I pulled a uturn and went straight back to Marina Jack without speaking a word. As we approach the dock, she starts to get up and I just tell her sternly, "sit down". I docked the boat, and told her "now, get up and get off my boat. If you're so worried about your hair, go spend the time at at hair salon". She started to half explain and half argue, and I just told her, "I'm not asking, I'm telling, get the phuck off my boat, NOW..." The boyfriend, afte she was huffing down the dock, told me I don't blame you at all, she really didn't want to come. I reached in my pocket and pulled the fifty dollar bill he'd given me for gas and went to give it back to him. He refused it saying I wish I could give you another one for her being such a pain in the azz.

We've had him out three more times since, and he broke up with her that very evening.

Within a year she was married to some loser, had a baby, and he walked out on her. To the guys credit, he, as far as I know, is supporting the baby, but wants nothing to do with her.

What do people think a boat ride is???? A damned fashion show????

There are VERY few people I will now invite out on my boat, and they get a thorough "interview" before I even consider it. I won't go through that again.

Can you imagine "slow down my hair is getting knotted up". I wanted to put a knot in the middle of her forehead. :rolleyes:

Re: Boat Rules
 

yup yup, had it happen at bike week too, same guy diff girl, I just got up walked out, when I came back good and drunk at about 6 am she had the nerve to question me, I did the same told her shut the phuck up, she aint ruining my vacation and its none of her business who the girl with me was. I paid for the room, if she didnt like it her stuff would be waiting for her in the lobby in about 20 mins:D...she dint talk to me rest of trip, he dumped her when we got back...he has a knack for chics with baggage and of course they all hate me:evilb:

Re: Boat Rules
 

no drinking beer or drinks when kids are aboard.. seen parnets come out and drink there ass off and then drive home after a day of boating.. while i set and not drink at all....think they would have got'n that one

Re: Boat Rules
 

So true, so true. That is why it's usually just me and my wife. She's always up for a full day on the water. And she always sports her '80mph hairdo''. :D

That way all the above rules don't apply! :cool:

Re: Boat Rules
 

Too many people just don't understand the difference between a 35/40 mph family style bow rider and an "offshore" boat. That you actually have to "drive" the boat and "pay attention".

One time someone asked me to drive my boat. I said sure.....you buy it right here and now, you drive it, and if you don't screw something up, I'll buy it back at the end of the day. He didn't ask again.

Now there was that gorgous cute little blonde with my first boat.........
she drove and later "got driven"......:drink: :drink: :D :D

Re: Boat Rules
 

I dont have a problem letting someone drive, I just dont let them drive WOT, or dock. That way if I scratch it its my fault. I have one buddy that is a great boater, he is the exception, I've learned alot from him.

Re: Boat Rules
 

And dont complain about the style of music, This goes back to the biech from heil...

Re: Boat Rules
 

WOW! Y'all sure seem to have alot of rules. :(

I don't think that #4 refers to an offshore boat. Sounds more like a wake-boarding boat.

Anyway, my rules are very simple. I trailer my boat and I usually launch it by myself. Then I drive over to the local hangout (Carlos'N Charlie's) a pickup my passengers. I only pickup women. I will have Miller Lite, Jello Shots, and Water. If they want something else, they have to bring it.

I guess my only "rule" is no shoes. Once you get their shoes off, the rest of the clothes will follow. :D

See y'all on the water! :p

Re: Boat Rules
 

#22 Unless the water is perfectly flat, do not attempt to drink a beverage while underway. I do not have cup holders and you will need your hands to hold on.

#23 Even as a passenger you must pay attention and be prepared for wakes, waves, flight and re-entry. :D

Re: Boat Rules
 

Seems like somwhere on that list should be the usuaul:
"SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND HANG ON"
"Female's clothing is optional"
"Random acts of nudity are encouraged"(female only!)

Re: Boat Rules
 

Funny, I was going to say the same thing about #4, 5 & 6. Took me back to my comp waterskiing days. Ski Nautique baby! :cool:

Re: Boat Rules
 

I finally found a name for my boat - kinda long but fits.

10. If you can only be there for 30 minutes, and then you have to leave, do not bother coming. There are very few things worse then having to stop and take someone back to the dock. Also, it kills the riding time.

Re: Boat Rules
 

I had similar experiences, my brother brought a date to go boating with us one day, she wanted to step on my engine hatch with pointed high heals, I told her to take them off, she said no, "I don't take off my shoes" I was like WTF, stay on the dock. She finally took them off but she was a *****, I don't understand why some people think their chit doesn't stink. I am 28 and I don't care who or what you are my boat my rules or stay on the dock. :drink:

WILL