Three guys go to a ski lodge. There aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”

************************************************** *
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, crawled
painfully onto a stool and ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked, "Crushed nuts?"
"No" he replied, "its just arthritis."

************************************************** *
A biker walks into a neighborhood bar. He's a rather large, menacing chap. He chugs back a beer and says, "All the guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers! Anyone got a problem with that?"
Everyone is understandably silent.

He then chugs back another beer and says, "All the guys on the other side of the bar are motherf*ckers! Anyone got a problem with that?"
Everyone is silent, again.

Then one man gets up from his stool and starts to walk towards the man.
"You got a problem, buddy?"
"No, I'm just on the wrong side of the bar."

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND ALL

your killing me,and to think I was going to leave work without checking the board.

pretty good ones