Patrick O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. Well, "Patty" won the contest for the best toast of the evening:

"Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the legs o' me wife."

When Patty arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the best toast of the evening." His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said,

"Here's to the best years o' me life, spent in Church wi' me wife."

His wife then said, "Why Patty, that's so nice of you to include me in your toast."

The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the local policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters meeting with her husband. He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your husband Pat gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won first prize". "Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite honest with the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

The dumbest St Pattys joke of all time: What is Irish & stays out all night? Patty "O" furniture

I give it a closely guarded 's