Hump Day Quickies I
04-03-2002 | 09:53 AM
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From: New Hampshuu !!
Hump Day Quickies I
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant and is told by the
maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait,
would he like to wait in the bar. So he goes and has a seat
at the bar.
The bartender walks up and says with a heavy accent, "What
you dlink?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles
and says, "Once upon time were *four* little pigs..."
***********************
A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
***********************
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. "Try pulling the tongue out" offers the clerk.
"Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
***********************
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum.
“That looks nasty,” says the doctor.
“Nasty?” the man says. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait,
would he like to wait in the bar. So he goes and has a seat
at the bar.
The bartender walks up and says with a heavy accent, "What
you dlink?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles
and says, "Once upon time were *four* little pigs..."
***********************
A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
***********************
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. "Try pulling the tongue out" offers the clerk.
"Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
***********************
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum.
“That looks nasty,” says the doctor.
“Nasty?” the man says. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
