Love these.

> D A M N I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
> up to 8 full hours.
>
> ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
> rendering preschoolers
> unconscious for up to two days.
>
> E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
> loneliness by reminding you of
> how awful they were as teenagers and how you
> couldn't wait till they moved out.
>
> P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
> cups swallowed before an
> evening out increases breast size, decreases
> intelligence, and prevents
> conception.
>
> D U M B E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
> low IQ, resulting in
> enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
>
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by
> controlling road rage and the urge
> to flip off other drivers.
>
> M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older women.
>
> B U Y A G R A
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
> Increases
> potency, duration, and credit limit of spending
> spree.
>
> J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
> remember your birthday
> anniversary or phone number.
>
> A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
> anyone too eager to share
> their life stories with total strangers in
> elevators.
>
> N A G A M E T
> When administered to a husband, provides the same
> irritation level as
> nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time
> and trouble of doing it herself.
>
>
>
> And "I used to have a handle on life, but it broke."

ttt

:d :d