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  1. #1
    Rob VIP Member Strip Poker 388's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Hustler 388
    Join Date
    Aug 2001

    Status of a Hangover

    Now I wouldn't know anything about this but I'm told.............

    >>>One Star Hangover (*)
    >>>No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're
    >>>able to function relatively
    >>>well. However, you are still parched. You can
    >>>drink 5 sodas and still feel
    >>>this way. For some reason, you are craving a
    >>>steak &fries.
    >>>Two Star Hangover (**)
    >>>No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You
    >>>may look okay, but you have
    >>>the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee
    >>>you are chugging is only
    >>>increasing your rumbling gut, which is still
    >>>tossing around the fruity
    >>>pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House
    >>>excursion. There is some definite
    >>>havoc being reeked upon your bowels.
    >>>Three Star Hangover (***)
    >>>Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are
    >>>definitely not productive.
    >>>Any time a girl walks by you gag because her
    >>>perfume reminds you of the
    >>>flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends
    >>>dared you to drink. Life
    >>>would be better right now if you were home in
    >>>your bed watching Lucy
    >>>re-runs. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon
    >>>of water, 3 iced teas and a
    >>>diet coke and haven't peed yet!!!
    >>>Four Star Hangover (****)
    >>>Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't
    >>>speak too quickly or else you
    >>>might puke. Your boss has already lambasted
    >>>you for being late and has
    >>>given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
    >>>You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the
    >>>fact that you only shaved one
    >>>side of your face. (For the women, it looks
    >>>like you put your make-up on
    >>>while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look
    >>>like one big red vein, and
    >>>even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in
    >>>perpetual spasm, and the first
    >>>of about five ****s you take during the day
    >>>brings water to the eyes of
    >>>everyone who enters the bathroom.
    >>>Five Star Hangover (*****)
    >>>You have a second heartbeat in your head, which
    >>>is actually annoying the
    >>>employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor
    >>>is seeping out of every pore
    >>>and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste
    >>>crust in the corners of your
    >>>mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to
    >>>get the remnants of the poop
    >>>fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to
    >>>generate saliva so your tongue
    >>>is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest
    >>>idea who the hell the
    >>>stranger was passed out in your bed this
    >>>morning. Any attempt to defecate
    >>>results in a fire hose like discharge of
    >>>alcohol-scented fluid with a rare
    >>>'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of
    >>>this 'floater' seems to be to
    >>>splash the toilet water all over your ass.
    >>>Death sounds pretty good about
    >>>right now.
    >>>YOU'RE DRUNK:
    >>>British Constitution
    >>>Passive-aggressive disorder
    >>>Loquacious Transubstantiate
    >>>Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
    >>>Nope, no more booze for me
    >>>Sorry, but you're not really my type
    >>>Good evening officer, isn't it lovely
    >>>out tonight
    >>>Oh I couldn't, nobody wants to hear me

  2. #2
    Registered Madcow's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Cigarette Top Gun, Scarab Center Console
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Toledo Oh

    I like that one. After the leopa poker run tomorow I'll give my rating sunday morning.

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