That is some funny chit!

Here is a try:

My duty to you, dear reader, constrains me to the disagreeable and almost painful task of giving you a significant amount of information that you may be unwilling to accept. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Cadet Dry P. Tiger I, not because I harbor any ill-will towards her but because her most malodorous tactic is to fabricate a phony war between nit-picky ratbags and antihumanist beguilers. This way, Cadet Tiger can subjugate both groups into helping her use both overt and covert deceptions to eavesdrop on all sorts of private conversations. I surely don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that if I recall correctly, some people say that that isn't sufficient evidence to prove that Cadet Tiger is secretly scheming to bad-mouth worthy causes. And I must agree; one needs much more evidence than that. But the evidence is there, for anyone who isn't afraid to look at it. Just look at the way that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Cadet Tiger is to blame. Cadet Tiger's perspective is that she can change her pestiferous ways. My perspective, in contrast, is that the real question here is not, "Has Cadet Tiger ever considered what would happen if a small fraction of her time spent trying to guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community was instead spent on something productive?". The real question is rather, "Is it really her impression that you and I are morally inferior to acrimonious fault-finders?" Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: If I didn't sincerely believe that her refrains are a mockery of all that is fair and equitable, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. Cadet Tiger's philippics symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion -- extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. Cadet Tiger loves everybody so much, she wants to rip out the guts of everybody who doesn't love everybody as much as she does. To cap that off, if Cadet Tiger can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that merit is adequately measured by her methods and qualifications, I will personally deliver her Nobel Prize for Closed-minded Rhetoric. In the meantime, Cadet Tiger may be reasonably cunning with words. However, she is thoroughly ungrateful with everything else. It disturbs me that these sanctimonious, untrustworthy marauders have so little tolerance for differing points of view. Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, but for all of you reading this who are not clueless ex-cons, you can understand where the motivation for that statement comes from.

Do you understand the implications of what I have been telling you? Are you awake? Then you probably realize that the problem with Cadet Tiger is not that she's hateful. It's that she wants to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior she disapproves of. In short, Cadet Dry P. Tiger I keeps coming up with new ways to destroy the values, methods, and goals of traditional humanistic study. What you really need to do to be convinced of that, however, is to study the matter for yourself. I'll be happy to send you enough facts to get you started. Just write to me.

Glad that's over !



85 ! [

I can't believe no one mentioned the distance from the equator!?Closer to the equator,closer to the GPS sat.,the signal takes less time to reach the boat,hence the GPS reads FASTER that the boat in really going!Simple, Thank you very much,BOB

Yeap

People at Loto said your boat only went 58 NOT 85

Norty!... Is this true?..........
* I, Nort, am a prudish reprobate.
* I have been a participant in a giant scheme to rob, steal, cheat, and murder.
* I hereby admit my addiction to Dadaism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.

Easy Reed...

I was driving my car this evening on I-595. The speedometer said I was going 70, the tachometer said I was turning 2700 RPMs. I had full converter lock-up and I had my GPS in the trunk with the batteries out.
My question is: "Was I really getting 24 MPG or was my computer lying?"

I've never done anything the easy way... I always have to do it the hard way!.............

Computer was telling the truth, it was your eyes that were lying. You were actually getting 85 mpg but only when you were coasting .... downwind. Unless it was a foul warm wind, then it was 58 mpg.