A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range.

The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast."

The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's dick."

She swings and the ball goes 10 yards.

Golf pro: "Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth."

oldie but goodie

A guy goes golfing with his wife. As they approach the first tee, the man tees his ball up, and takes some practice swings.

Well, his wife thinks that because she is a woman, she will have the honors. She proceeds to walk up to the red tees.

Well, the guy has his head down, and let's it go. The ball nails his wife in the head, and she drops like a sack of potatoes. They call an ambulance, and take her to the hospital.

The husband is in the waiting room, and the doctor comes out.

The doctor says, "Don't worry, she's gonna be alright."

"Thank god," the husband replies.

One question, though," the doctor asks, "if you hit her in the head, how come we found a golf ball up her butt?"

"Oh" the husband replies, "that was my mulligan."

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-Spot?


A guy will spend time looking for a golf ball!