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How do you deal with someones death??

Old 11-25-2002, 07:41 PM
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I am very sorry for your loss. I know a little of what you are going through.
All of these posts are good advice. I've found it best to do as Troutly says. Talk about him with close friends. Talk about all the good times you had, tell funny stories. It's tougher to deal with by yourself.

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Old 11-25-2002, 09:12 PM
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Been there, done that.....too many times.

A prayer wouldn't hurt.

Deepest condolences.
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Old 11-25-2002, 09:40 PM
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Remember the good times that you shared with your friend..... and your friend will always be with you.... I'm sorry for your loss....
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Old 11-25-2002, 09:51 PM
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Remember the good, forget the bad, take to heart any lesson to be learned if there is one, don't sweat it if there isn't. Share your feelings with someone close-especially someone also hurting. Use this occasion to remind yourself that none of us is invincible( I know, hard to believe at your age).

Sorry for your loss, my condolences.
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Old 11-25-2002, 10:18 PM
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Lost an acquaintance to an irresponsible helmetless motorcycle accident when I was 13 - the loss seemed eerily distant but final.

Lost a better friend to a reckless irresponsible streetbike wreck when I was 16. This one was more bitter, but was still looked upon from a distance.

Knew three more kids fairly well that died from auto accidents through highschool. They were all sad events with lots of teenage girls crying and stuff.

At age 20, lost my best friend to a massive head injury. Been best friends since age 11. Freak accident on a motocross track while we were practicing for an upcoming regional race. I was sitting inside of a corner next to the triple jumps watching and evaluating the bestlooking lines through there. My buddy blasted through and crashed over the triples, 40 feet in front of me. Doctors laimed that he was brain dead from the moment of impact, but we worked on him for 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived and I ended up giving him mouth to mouth for the last 5 minutes after he stopped breathing. He was airlifted to a trauma center but his heart stopped 15 hours later. He was to be in my wedding and this was three weeks before my wedding.

I suppose this one is similar to the loss you have experienced.

It was a crusher for me. I coped by talking to him regularly. I spoke with him every time I saw something I knew he would have appreciated (boats, bikes, cars, girls, etc..). Visited his grave twice a year and took him his favorite bourbon and drank it with him at the gravesite, sometimes joined by his father...

I continued to include him in my daily thoughts until I lost both of my parents in a car wreck 10 years later. Now, I spend my days talking to my parents, but sometimes I still share a laugh with my friend. After Mom and Dad died, my friend joined me in a dream and told me that he was taking care of my parents and that they were fine.

My prayers are with you in coping with the loss of your friend.
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Old 11-25-2002, 10:26 PM
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We all have stories to tell about the friends we have lost. Death is part of life. It's going to happen, the question is only when.

My suggestion for you is to cry. You loved your buddy, don't be ashamed to let it be known.

In six months you'll feel better, that's how long it takes for the physical pain to go away.

Sorry for your loss.

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Old 11-26-2002, 12:23 AM
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I've lost friends and family over the years and and the closest loss was my Father one month before my daughter was born. I'm no expert but here are some things I think are important.

Focus on life and how your friend impacted yours. He made a difference and without him in your life you wouldn't be who you are so celebrate that. He lived and was part of what shaped your life; it's a gift.

When you wake up in the morning, the realization may hit you like the first time you got the news. You may have what feels like a panic attack as you realize what's happened and that it's real. It may hit you driving down the road, watching TV, mowing the yard it could hit anytime just out of the blue. Stop for as long as it takes to roll with the feelings; ride it out, cry, talk out loud, call a friend or family, whatever. You'll know when you're ready to continue what you were doing. The experience makes your life richer and helps you grow. It's not selfish, it's part of the cycle of life. Feel the pain of the loss, feel the joy of his memory and when you're ready, you'll move ahead. You're not fragile and won't break if you face the feelings, but face the feelings.

It's a good time to take some time for yourself.

Last edited by SeaRay Jim; 11-26-2002 at 12:26 AM.
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Old 11-26-2002, 03:40 PM
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Thanks for all the help, it got me more today then it did yesterday. Tonight I am going to a small memorial at the site of the accident- here is what happened:

An Olentangy High School Senior was killed in a car crash on Chapman Road just southwest of US 23S sunday. His passenger is in fair condition this morning.

Donald J. Dill, 17 of 1557 Franklin St., Lewis Center, was driving north on Chapman Road about 6pm when he failed to negotiate a curve 1/2 mile south of US 23, according to the Ohio State Highway Patrol.

A patrol report stated Dill was driving a 1993 Honda Del Sol which slid off the left side of the road and struck a large tree, splitting the car in half. The impact was at the driver's door.

The rear of the car slid across the right side of the then struck a ditch. The front continued on the left side of the road and collided with a series of trees. Dill who was ejected from the car, was pronounced dead at the scene.

A passenger, Erin M Davis, 15 was taken to Riverside Hospital then was moved to Childrens Hospital where she was listed as fair condition. She is an Olentangy Sophmore.

Davis may have survived the crash becase she was wearing a seatbelt. Dill was not wearing his.

THe vehicle had been lent to Dill just moments before the crash The speed of the vehicle was estimated at 80mph before the crash.

Olentangy High School Principal Mindy Farry said that councelors will be available for students.

That was out of the Delaware Gazette for Monday.
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Old 11-26-2002, 03:44 PM
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This was in the Columbus Dispatch.

Speeding likely was cause of fatal crash, patrol says

Speed appears to be the main factor in a one-car crash that killed an Olentangy High School student and injured another, the State Highway Patrol said.
Donald J. Dill was traveling north about 80 mph on Chapman Road, near Rt. 23, about 6 p.m. Sunday when he lost control on a curve and his car crashed into a tree, troopers said.
The impact split the car in half, and Dill, 17, of Lewis Center, who was not wearing a seat belt, was ejected. He apparently died instantly.
Passenger Erin M. Davis, 15, of Powell was wearing a seat belt, troopers said. She was in fair condition yesterday at Children's Hospital in Columbus.
Dill was a senior at the high school and Davis is a sophomore. Officials said counselors were available for students at the school.
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Old 11-26-2002, 04:18 PM
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Death is so final and so tragic at such an early age, and often at that age so needless.

I lost one of my best freinds 25 years ago. They found him in Tampa, dead of an overdose with the needle still in his arm. None of us knew he was doing this. Not only were we sad, but also pissed at him for robbing us of his freindship for the rest of our lives. Quite a few of us from the old neighborhood still get together a few times a year, and always bring up memories of Frank. He was the glue that held us all together. Time is a healer, remember him at his best, and keep him close in your heart.
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