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Snappy Comebacks.............

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Old 12-19-2002, 10:37 AM
  #21
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Years ago I was late picking up my girlfriend (previous) for a date and of course I was hauling ass. Got clocked on radar 74 in a 55. I told the cop I was late to pick up my girlfriend, and he, with a smile, said "Now your going to be real late". Then he asked me how long my windshield has been broken. I said "That happened yesterday sir". He went back to his car and my girlfriend drives by the other way. She u-turns and pulls up behind me, gets out and walks to my window and *****es me out for always being late. Then gets back in her car and peels tires leaving. The cop came back to my car and asked if that was her. I said "Yes it was".
He only wrote me a defective equipment ticket for my windshield.

Last edited by Shah Mat; 12-19-2002 at 10:40 AM.
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Old 12-19-2002, 12:04 PM
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Many years ago, I was hauling ass home at 2:30 in the morning and got pulled over, I was pretty drunk and figured I was going to jail anyway. The cop asked me what I was doing, I said "Trying to get home before I pass out." He laughed and said he'd follow me home.

PS, the State of Florida made me a believer on not doing that years ago.
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Old 12-19-2002, 12:12 PM
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Once I was at a bar (imagine that) with some people I worked with. There was one guy that hardly ever went out with us. He was a real nice guy, just kind of shy. Some hottie in the bar walked up to him and asked him if he was gay. It hurt his feelings and pissed me off. I waited between songs, then asked her if she wanted to dance. She looks down her nose at me and says real ***** like, "I don't THINK so." I replied to her in a real loud voice, "That's ok, I had to take a **** anyway."
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Old 12-19-2002, 12:15 PM
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Another time I was in a bar (do you see a trend here?) with a buddy of mine and some ***** he brought with him. She and I didn't like each other, and it was showing pretty well. He leans over to me and whispers "Can't you say anything nice to her?" So I lean over to her and say"You know, you don't sweat much for a fat girl".
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Old 12-19-2002, 12:44 PM
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I didn't even have my license yet I was 14 I think. I was ridding shotgun in my cousins GTO Judge down a back country road with lots of rolling hills. He was showing me how cool it felt when a car is on the edge of airborn. We were hitting 100 consistantly.
Needless to say, a county sherrif stopped us. As the officer walked up the side of the car my cousin rolled down his window and said "Yea, I want a cheeseburger, fry's and a chocolate shake"
The sherrif just laughed and said "Slow it down boys, there are alot of deer on this road late at night!?" and walked away.
 
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Old 12-19-2002, 12:47 PM
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Cuda

Next time you ask a woman to dance and she says no, tell her "no no I said you look fat in those pants"
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Old 12-19-2002, 03:28 PM
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ex-squeeze me?
 
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Old 12-19-2002, 04:10 PM
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All my friends who drive say you can get out of it until you get one ticket....

Just Once, didnt you say that also? How many times have you been pulled over?
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