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My Complaint About "Too Old"

Old 01-20-2003, 10:42 PM
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Here I am , under the influence of serious cold medication, reading this post. I must have said W--- T-- F---!!! A hundred times. You had me goin' Dock!!!!
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Old 01-21-2003, 12:22 AM
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Reminded me of college, how many words can I use to say absolutely nothing.
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Old 01-21-2003, 12:29 AM
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I was waiting for the punch line there. Now I have to go look in the porn section my head hurts, I need something to dumb me up a bit

Put your best foot forward!
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Old 01-21-2003, 02:25 AM
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ok now after doing the site I truly think I should tear and shread into fine little peices the complaint about my boss

Just think he may not see the humor in it since he just demoted me for what ever his pathetic reasons where. Which I am finding out it was to make room for someone he LIKED from another company
Sad for is and somewhat funny for him is it BACKFIRED on him. I now have amo against him with Corporate and the person he wnated declined his offer so now they are still with out supervision and the production is way down and the mistakes are way HIGH. already had several mistakes costing over 20 grand in repairs and buyouts for the customers Guess I was not doing so bad after all.
A$$hole that he is he deserves it!
This Cat is trying to keep up with the Big Dogs
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Old 01-21-2003, 07:55 AM
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Originally posted by Troutly
For a minute there I thought Doc was trying to type a 1000 word post like me


You still be the KING of the 1000 word post!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-21-2003, 08:35 AM
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I've posted this before, but it seems appropriate in this thread. As I understand it, this is an actual complaint letter sent to National Telephone (NTL) in England. Whether that is true or not, I don't know, but it is still a great read.

AFAIK, there are only two major telecom providers in England, NTL and British Telecom (BT). BT is renowned for absolutely piss-poor customer service, not to mention ****ty service in general, thus the rise of NTL (I suppose).

In any case, I find this letter to be a sterling example of why the language is called "English" - it takes a Brit to come up with a masterpiece like this...

Dear Cretins:

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.

During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was canceled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools-such as a drill bit, and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%...these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were ****, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as a statement of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

Steven Langford MSc, Ph.D.
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Old 01-21-2003, 09:05 AM
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Default my complaint about TOO OLD

He's already owned, and restored 3 boats I'd kill for ...
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Old 01-21-2003, 09:14 AM
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Hey Mark ,
I have been waiting for this Link a long time! GOOD ONE.
Champagne taste on a beer Budget

C. P. B. A. Carolina Power Boat Assoc
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Old 01-21-2003, 09:22 AM
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You got me Dock. I already had 2 bags of popcorn poped and was working on the 3rd.
Thanks for the link, I'm sure it will come in very handy.
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Old 01-21-2003, 10:05 AM
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Thanks Dock! I am going to have some fun today.
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