Formula Outlaw

Man do I ever hear ya on this one.

A couple of years ago I agreed to bring another couple along who were good friends of my wife. I'd met them twice before and didn't care for her at all. One of those "nitpicker" types.

We picked them up at Marina Jack and the first thing I noticed is she's dressed like she's going to a friggin ball for christ's sake. First thing I tell her, lose the shoes. She's gets kinda crabby and I just said "no shoes or no boat ride". She agreed, pissy. While docked I spend about five minutes going over the "basics", particularly that they could expect to be cruising around 50/55 mph. I wasn't going to go all out but I wasn't going to go 25 either. Anyway they say their ready and off we go.

We don't get three minutes going north up Sarasota Bay and she starts complaining about her hair getting blown into knots, so Deb tosses her a hair band and tells her to put it inot a pony tail. She says, "I never wear pony tails". Deb and I looked at each other and Deb tosses her a hat. Now at this point we're going maybe 35/40. She then says, "I don't wear hats cause they mess up my hair". That was it, I pulled a uturn and went straight back to Marina Jack without speaking a word. As we approach the dock, she starts to get up and I just tell her sternly, "sit down". I docked the boat, and told her "now, get up and get off my boat. If you're so worried about your hair, go spend the time at at hair salon". She started to half explain and half argue, and I just told her, "I'm not asking, I'm telling, get the phuck off my boat, NOW..." The boyfriend, afte she was huffing down the dock, told me I don't blame you at all, she really didn't want to come. I reached in my pocket and pulled the fifty dollar bill he'd given me for gas and went to give it back to him. He refused it saying I wish I could give you another one for her being such a pain in the azz.

We've had him out three more times since, and he broke up with her that very evening.

Within a year she was married to some loser, had a baby, and he walked out on her. To the guys credit, he, as far as I know, is supporting the baby, but wants nothing to do with her.

What do people think a boat ride is???? A damned fashion show????

There are VERY few people I will now invite out on my boat, and they get a thorough "interview" before I even consider it. I won't go through that again.

Can you imagine "slow down my hair is getting knotted up". I wanted to put a knot in the middle of her forehead.

offshoredrillin

yup yup, had it happen at bike week too, same guy diff girl, I just got up walked out, when I came back good and drunk at about 6 am she had the nerve to question me, I did the same told her shut the phuck up, she aint ruining my vacation and its none of her business who the girl with me was. I paid for the room, if she didnt like it her stuff would be waiting for her in the lobby in about 20 mins...she dint talk to me rest of trip, he dumped her when we got back...he has a knack for chics with baggage and of course they all hate me

CustomRigger101

no drinking beer or drinks when kids are aboard.. seen parnets come out and drink there ass off and then drive home after a day of boating.. while i set and not drink at all....think they would have got'n that one

Macklin

So true, so true. That is why it's usually just me and my wife. She's always up for a full day on the water. And she always sports her '80mph hairdo''.

That way all the above rules don't apply!

Formula Outlaw

Too many people just don't understand the difference between a 35/40 mph family style bow rider and an "offshore" boat. That you actually have to "drive" the boat and "pay attention".

One time someone asked me to drive my boat. I said sure.....you buy it right here and now, you drive it, and if you don't screw something up, I'll buy it back at the end of the day. He didn't ask again.

Now there was that gorgous cute little blonde with my first boat.........
she drove and later "got driven"......

offshoredrillin

I dont have a problem letting someone drive, I just dont let them drive WOT, or dock. That way if I scratch it its my fault. I have one buddy that is a great boater, he is the exception, I've learned alot from him.

rush

And dont complain about the style of music, This goes back to the biech from heil...

Clay Washington

WOW! Y'all sure seem to have alot of rules.

I don't think that #4 refers to an offshore boat. Sounds more like a wake-boarding boat.

Anyway, my rules are very simple. I trailer my boat and I usually launch it by myself. Then I drive over to the local hangout (Carlos'N Charlie's) a pickup my passengers. I only pickup women. I will have Miller Lite, Jello Shots, and Water. If they want something else, they have to bring it.

I guess my only "rule" is no shoes. Once you get their shoes off, the rest of the clothes will follow.

See y'all on the water!

Dave M

#22 Unless the water is perfectly flat, do not attempt to drink a beverage while underway. I do not have cup holders and you will need your hands to hold on.

#23 Even as a passenger you must pay attention and be prepared for wakes, waves, flight and re-entry.

bouyhunter

Seems like somwhere on that list should be the usuaul:
"SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND HANG ON"
"Female's clothing is optional"
"Random acts of nudity are encouraged"(female only!)