Is there a special anti seize that i should use with stainless and aluminum?

Permatex Nickel #771.

SS, Ti, nickel alloys, etc. It will also work on aluminum but it's not necessary- ordinary anti-seize is suitable except in hi-temp applications.

So the permatex is ok to use with my exhaust manifold bolts?

I was told the copper/brown wasnt good if salt water gets on it? And to use it on spark plugs on alumin heads because of the heat..

I've always used ordinary antisieze and have not had a problem except when I did not use it. I use it on the spark plug threads, head bolt area above the threads that contact the aluminum heads. I've had them sieze there before with no antisieze. Really any place where two dissimilar metals are used.

Bostik Neverseeze was always what we used at Cosworth for exh threads and spark plugs.

Great stuff with different grades of nickel loading including Nuclear reactor grade.....

http://www.neverseezproducts.com/bostik.htm

sure