"Trial"

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own
words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my
swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the
porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat
down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done
that since my Abner passed away some 30 years
ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: Hell No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing
made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt
that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that
I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me,
young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He jumped up and yelled,
"April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a *****!