The Spot

FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....


For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads.
We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion.
The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. Has recently revealed
The true story:

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see whether
He has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in
The United States. If not, he must take a job in India answering
Telephones giving technical advice.

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for 3 years.?

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment." and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 a.m."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., why do you want me to come in at 10:00 a.m.?"

This is a government job!" the interviewer says.

"For the first 2 hours we stand around scratching our balls...no point in you coming in for that!"

Australian Gun Law Update


Here's a thought to warm some of your hearts...

From: Ed Chenel, A police officer in Australia
Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under.
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced
by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by
our own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.

The first year results are now in:

Australia-wide, homicides are up 6.2 percent,

Australia-wide, assaults are up 9.6 percent ;

Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent.

(Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns!)

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.

There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly, while the resident is at home.

Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in "successfully ridding Australian society of guns." You won't see this on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the State Assembly disseminating this information.

The Australian experience speaks for itself. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens.

Take note Americans, before it's too late!

FORWARD TO EVERYONE ON YOUR EMAIL LIST. [I DID ]

DON'T BE A MEMBER OF THE SILENT MAJORITY

BE ONE OF THE VOCAL MINORITY WHO WON'T LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE U.S.A

good one

West Virginia Justice

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Logan, West Virginia. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and Registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and Stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes Out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

It was 1 heac of a day. It was great meeting everyone yesterday and putting faces and names together...great feast Jeff...After T-bone left us in his rooster tail we headed back to jeffs and saw some friends with their houseboat ancored by Pappas. Rafted up and listened to the band,drink till I was smart, and then played a pontoon to a house as he motored back to Del lago....Just as we were leaving Pappas we saw Big Andy pulling in we should have stayed...no I think it's a good thing we left......Looking forward to seeing everyone again.....

1. It's important to have a woman who helps out at home, cooks, & cleans.


2. It ' s important to have a woman who can make you laugh and has a good job.


3. It ' s important to have a woman who you can trust & doesn't lie.


4. It ' s important to have a woman who is awesome in bed & likes being with only you.


5. It ' s very, very, very important that these four *****es don't know each other.

Subject: Number 90 on telephone or cell

90# on your telephone or cell
I dialed ' 0 ' and asked the operator who did confirm that this was
correct so please pass it on.

PASS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
I received a telephone call last evening from an individual
identifying himself as an AT&T Service technician (could also be Telus)
who was conducting a test on the telephone lines. He stated that to
complete the test I should touch
nine( 9 ), zero( 0 ), the pound sign ( # ), and then hang up.

Luckily, I was suspicious and refused.
Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by
pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to
your telephone line, which enables them to place long distance calls
&
amp;a mp;nb sp; billed to your home phone number.
I was further informed that this scam has been originating from
many local jails/prisons

DO NOT press 90# for ANYONE !!
The GTE Security Department requested that I share this
information with EVERYONE I KNOW.
After checking with Verizon they said it was true, so do not
dial 90# for anyone!!!!!
PLEASE HIT THAT FORWARD BUTTON AND PASS THIS
ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW

Let all Children & Teenagers with cell phones know of this scan

Warning - Do Not Order Mexican Viagra !

Important Bulletin
Many men are buying "black market" Viagra pills
from Mexican mail-order drug stores.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that
several of these pharmacies are mixing the Viagra with
ground up Mexican Jumping Beans.

The results can be horrible.
Here is what you get when you combine Viagra
with Mexican Jumping Beans.


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Pass this on. Too funny, to not share a laugh

Not unless he takes goggles and a rain suite.