I fix copiers. when one old model fills with waste toner, it ratchets and makes clicking sound. copier in service dept of a dodge dealer, one of our techs told service manager "it's supposed to sound like that." manager points to the bay. says "I have 20 guys I pay to tell people that. don't try to BS me. just fix it." it wasn't such a stupid thing to say, it was who he said it to...

Lol... I listen to them every morning but never heard that one. She's a keeper.

The gas line was frozen is why it wouldn't start!!
I fired him soon after.

This is true, no BS ".Its very windy inside your engine and the wind is blowing the spark out."

See....another opportunity for me to unlike a post......

"You'll have to pay a disposal fee for the gasoline I pumped out of your fuel tank."

A girl I knew came over with her car complaining about a "funny noise" from the rear end... It turned out to be strut mounts, but when she opened the trunk, her kid's inflatable clown was in the trunk (MILF).

I promptly exclaimed "there's your problem!", and pulled the clown out of the trunk.

I told her test drive it to see if my solution got rid of the "funny noise". She did. It didn't work (obviously). I laughed. She didn't understand why. Oh, memories.....

For those that don't have it their vocabulary...

E. S. O.

Customer (a friend) came by with his 06 caravan to have the rr tail light assy replaced.

I did it, worked fine.

Later, he called me to say that his ac was not working.....what did I do?!?

Ummm....I changed the tail light.

Brought the van back in.....sat in drivers seat, reached down.....touched the "AC" button.....blowing cold now.....

He got in and asked what was wrong......

E. S. O......

What's that?

Equipment smarter than operator.

In the same spirit as the previous post by cs...

,,,some stuff I've used in the IT field:

"Loose nut behind keyboard."

"P.I.C.N.I.C."
"Problem In Chair, Not In Computer"

I deal more with cars and obviously I agree. Have years of stories and the real good ones I right down for a shop get together or just pick us up when things seem unbearable.

Here's one I'll go to the grave with.

Lady pulls up to the pumps. Wrong side. Hose won't go over her car and reach inside the filler. She tries like hell. Finally get's in car, turns it around and goes to other island. So...now she is still positioned on wrong side. LOL. Fights with hose and can't quite reach her tank filler. Get's in, moves car just a hair to see if that works..nope. Get's in and moves a little more...nope.

Get's back in car, turns around again, and moves back over to original island....so...wrong side again.

She's freakin pizzed off !!!!

I walk out and offer to move her car and put gas in it for her .

She yells at me " What ? Because I'm a girl ? You think I'm stupid ? " "No mam, I hate to see people have a bad day, let me take care of it for you."

She yells "Maam ? You call me fking MAAM ? Fuk you ! "

How do you resond to that with others outside pumping gas and hanging out while cars are being worked on ?

With a big smile. Sometimes that hurts just as bad.

She jumps in her car and drives around (no turning around this time) the other island , and yup, gas tank is on wrong side again.

She fought with it again. Got super pissed and starting swearing about everything as loud as she could.

Everyone was really really tense now. Out of control she was.

Until.......she dropped the bomb !

She looks at me and screams " You fuking azzhole ! I know your switching the pumps on me !!!!! Fuk you !!!!!!"

About 10 customers and my employees , of course, got wide eyed and burst into tears laughing. I walk over crippled in tears and told her to leave. Now !


Brings tears to my eyes re-telling the story after all these years.

I'm fine with being the dumbazz / azzhole with most situations. Gotta' have thick blood in my line of work and still remember to be polite and smile.