"60% of the time, it works Every Time." I always like to use that one when someone asks me if their boat is fixed.:evilb:

If you're lookin for sympathy, its in the dictionary between $h!t and SYPHILIS.

My $h!t always works sometimes.

Any powerboat.....Hey, Nice Cigarette!

at work "if it jams, force it, if it breaks it needed to be replaced anyway!"

my favorite definition:
EXPERT:
someone who knows all about how to do something but is incapable of doing it themselves so they feel compelled to tell those capable of doing it exactly how it should be done.

Don't sweat the petty $hit and don't pet the sweaty $hit.

at the bar
"spandex is a privilege, not a right"

"Those who can, do. Those that can't, teach"

if your gonna be stupid u better be tough.

When you catch someone checkin out your woman, tell him " you think shes hot now, you should see her naked"

If it's got tits or an engine, it's gonna give you trouble.

A little less with the mouth and a little more with the hands .

This thread is too hard

It is what it is.......

If it flys, floats or f_cks, it's cheaper to rent it.

I'm no proctologist, but I know an ******* when I see one.

He was so confused, he didn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!

Hold my Jim Beam and watch this

Hold my hammer while I nail your girl friend

Fo shizzle my nizzle :lolhit:

Im RIck James b!tch!! :thankyouthankyou:

Details..........

And fancy names help.. like if you ask for the hammer, refer to it as "the inertial amplification device"

5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions.

"Once in a row don't mean ****"

"You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning"

"Sobriety is detrimental to abstract thought and may inhibit creative thinking"

"Finish that beer, there are sober kids in India"

"That's more Phucked up than a football bat"

"A fair river race is one you didn't plan well"

and the winner is.... drum roll please... "you didn't build that"

It's gas or a$$


When she says is it in? (what do you mean in? i'm finished) :lolhit:

Sh$t or get off the pot!!

it'll be fine!!

Ya can't polish a turd.

Just get a bigger hammer
stupid is supposed to hurt
did I just say the quiet part out loud......and
chit slides downhill

Dockmaster sayings
If it runs on gas, is made by Microsoft or has tits I can't make is work.
Who the hell do you think you are...me!
It's not your girlfriend, you can't just force it.

You can't change stupid

The flying doesn't hurt..........its the landings that suck.

If you wanna dance you gotta pay the fiddler.

Pertains to spending big bucks on an engine build.

Suck Marybeth, blow is just a figure of speech.

One I use most that my dad always taught me...."pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered "
another one an old timer at work told me...."don't ever take wooden nickels from anyone"
same old timer would tell me this one when I would come to work directly from a night out...."you look like you got shot at and missed and sh*t at and hit"

Happy as a queer in a pecker patch

That snuck up on me like a wet fart

Smilin like a Ni**a on 22s

Lets go break $hit (usually before snowmobiling)

I think its already posted but I'll repeat it anyway "It is what it is."

And one I can't take credit for but is funny as hell' "If it's not exactly the same, it's completely different."

Dave

WTF? (Its actually my Front License Plate:) )

If your not first you're last...Ricky Bobby

2nd place is the first loser

Stick with me kid, I'll have you farting through silk panties in no time.

F**k it.