Like Tree0Likes

OT: Telemarketers Givin' You a hard time? Try This!

Reply
Old 11-06-2002, 11:42 AM
  #1
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Thread Starter
 
CigDaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
My Boats: Cigarette 35 Cafe Racer
Posts: 21,346
Talking OT: Telemarketers Givin' You a hard time? Try This!



1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise,"Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.

13.Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14.Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...

20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
CigDaze is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 11:51 AM
  #2
Registered
 
dangerkitty2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Back in FL !
My Boats: 34' Venture
Posts: 669
Default ....some more

Change your voice and say "I'm sorry this number does not
accept this type of phone call. Please regard this message as your notification to remove this number from your list. Thank-
you."


Or, when they thank you for helping their cause last year, say
you didnt. Like the unknown " Give a Kid a Bike"
dangerkitty2 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 11:53 AM
  #3
Registered
Trade Score: (1)
 
Biggus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Naples, Maine
My Boats: 02 Cigarette Mystique T/S
Posts: 6,298
Default

A few years ago, I had told a telemarketer that I was a robber and at the moment I was ripping off the house

5 minutes later my house was surrounded by the local po po

They were not as amused as I was
Biggus is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 11:58 AM
  #4
DJD
Registered
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greenwich CT. U S of A
My Boats: 38' Cigarette, 42'Post, Driver:F2-07 Wild Child
Posts: 1,839
Default

LOL
I have used #12 before.
If I answer & it is a telemarketer asking for my wife, I have put the phone down & yelled 'Michele, it's another guy calling, what the F***, (slap hands together) YOU ***** (slap) what the f*** She screams out in pain each time & then I hang up.
My favorite is when someone called & asked if I have a minute for an "opinion pole", I stated that I have no opinion. The woman giggled & said "you have no opinion?" I said NO, I got married & no longer have an opinion
DJD is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:08 PM
  #5
Diamond Member #001
Charter Member
Trade Score: (2)
 
C_Spray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Coastal North Carolina
My Boats: 2000 Formula 382 with Innovation 600's
Posts: 4,789
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by DJD
......"you have no opinion?" I said NO, I got married & no longer have an opinion

I'm getting married next year! Oh, well - We've been living together for four years now, so I already have no opinion.

I think. (I'll have to check with Dianne.)
__________________
Retired! Boating full-time now.
C_Spray is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:17 PM
  #6
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Thread Starter
 
CigDaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
My Boats: Cigarette 35 Cafe Racer
Posts: 21,346
Default

DJD, C...LOL!
CigDaze is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:21 PM
  #7
Registered
 
nitro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: phoenix, arizona
My Boats: 2003 skater 368
Posts: 67
Default

My favorite is take ask them to hold on a second, take the cordless into the bathroom, couple of grunts and groans, a flush with the phone close, bada bing bada boom no more caller.
nitro is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:25 PM
  #8
Registered
 
SummerObsession's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Kansas/LOTO
My Boats: 2015 MTI 48
Posts: 1,831
Default

My dad had a good friend that, being the onry old fart that he was, would ask every female telemarketer that called "Do you f*ck?".
She, of course, would get very offended and call for her supervisor. When the supervisor entered the call, he would explain that he only wanted to know if she f*cked. They would both get very irate by this time, and he would tell them: "Listen, you people called ME at MY home, so I have every right to say whatever the f*ck I want!".
He didn't receive many telemarketer calls after that!!
SummerObsession is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:27 PM
  #9
Registered
 
mattyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: greenwood lake USA
Posts: 581
Default

a couple of years ago, I got a call that I had won 5000 dollars and a new Caddy, and all I had to do was make a commercial on these vitamins,stating they were great , the catch I had to buy 1500 dollars of vitamins first...

my respose ok send the camera crew over in the caddy with the vitamins and a check for 3500 and we had a deal!!! I spent 1 hr on the phone and went right to the vp, I would not let it go....

they never called back

Mattyboy
mattyboy is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2002, 12:28 PM
  #10
VIP Member
VIP Member
 
OldSchool's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Florida
My Boats: Cigarette CC and Boston Whaler currently
Posts: 10,093
Default

I always try to make a game of it when they call.
No matter what they are selling- That's what I do for a living
OldSchool is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
jeaston
General Boating Discussion
0
01-23-2005 10:57 PM
jeaston
General Boating Discussion
0
01-23-2005 10:54 PM



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:11 AM.


Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.