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(OT)Divorce input please..

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Old 04-12-2003, 11:54 PM
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Do you still love her? If so, make it work out. It may be hard to swallow, but losing someone you truly love is tough for the rest of your life. Voice of experience here.
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Old 04-13-2003, 12:03 AM
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I've been divorced for 5-6 yrs. I stood my ground ended up with the house, the boat, the hot rod but she got custody of my daughter. I see my daughter all the time , which is great!!! The X gets child support ONLY, no alimony. Over the years we have let the past go and get along pretty well for my daughters sake. Good Luck!
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Old 04-13-2003, 01:44 AM
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I have practically written a book on the subject. (I deal with unhappy wives daily and occasionally an unhappy husband.)

You'll find that most of your problems are going to come from two main sources. The first is lawyers. Please, never believe your lawyer is looking out for you first. He is looking out for Himself first and so is the spouses lawyer and both lawyers know it. They have a little game called "Soak the Clients" and over the years have made an art of it.

The other source of probs is spouse's relatives. Aunt Nellie (who never liked you anyway) gets in the act and stirs the fire. You'll find that former friends of you and the spouse will begin to polarize to one or the other of you, usually to the one they have known the longest. This is natural and you shouldn't let it get you down. They are simply standing with their old friend, not necessarily thinking of you as the bad guy.

There is a predictable pattern of feelings you will experience during this trying time. The MAIN THING to keep foremost in your mind is that things Will get back to normal and you Will feel good again.

That would have cost you $150 in the office.

Doc
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Old 04-13-2003, 06:34 AM
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Go for broke and TAG every decent looking friend she has....
that should solidify the seperation then you can cut right to the meat and taters of the split of property and such ....

the above advice is not for the faint of heart...but it's FUN

mine was over long ago..semi friendly split..with a nice battle at the end over assets..I guess I won..I really cannot comment on tactics as there were no children involved in my case...I would have played my cards in a different manner had there been ..obviously they come 1st...

It's never easy no matter how friendly it may seem to be , Just keep in mind you earned it once you'll earn it again..(I hope I never have to think that to myself again)
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Old 04-13-2003, 06:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by cuda
Do you still love her? If so, make it work out. It may be hard to swallow, but losing someone you truly love is tough for the rest of your life. Voice of experience here.

Ya I do. She by no means wants a divorce, but I don't think I'm going to live with this well. I'm a highly loyal and man of my word and this kind off stuff burns me to the bone. But can I say she truly loves me by her actions?

I see an opportunity to make out of this with my shirt and livelihood. An option that may never be available again.

Thanks!
 
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Old 04-13-2003, 06:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisK
Dang sorry to hear that.... I am 27 and was engaged, never married before... But did not go through, found out she cheated on me.... I am thinking that staying single is the way to go... People ask why I am leary of getting married. THIS is why....
I would rather love, marry and be hurt than to never.
 
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Old 04-13-2003, 06:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by doright
I have practically written a book on the subject. (I deal with unhappy wives daily and occasionally an unhappy husband.)

You'll find that most of your problems are going to come from two main sources. The first is lawyers. Please, never believe your lawyer is looking out for you first. He is looking out for Himself first and so is the spouses lawyer and both lawyers know it. They have a little game called "Soak the Clients" and over the years have made an art of it.

The other source of probs is spouse's relatives. Aunt Nellie (who never liked you anyway) gets in the act and stirs the fire. You'll find that former friends of you and the spouse will begin to polarize to one or the other of you, usually to the one they have known the longest. This is natural and you shouldn't let it get you down. They are simply standing with their old friend, not necessarily thinking of you as the bad guy.

There is a predictable pattern of feelings you will experience during this trying time. The MAIN THING to keep foremost in your mind is that things Will get back to normal and you Will feel good again.

That would have cost you $150 in the office.

Doc
Thanks for the words....

-B
 
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Old 04-13-2003, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by NASTY HABIT
Go for broke and TAG every decent looking friend she has....
that should solidify the seperation then you can cut right to the meat and taters of the split of property and such ....

the above advice is not for the faint of heart...but it's FUN

mine was over long ago..semi friendly split..with a nice battle at the end over assets..I guess I won..I really cannot comment on tactics as there were no children involved in my case...I would have played my cards in a different manner had there been ..obviously they come 1st...

It's never easy no matter how friendly it may seem to be , Just keep in mind you earned it once you'll earn it again..(I hope I never have to think that to myself again)
Sounds like something better to do afterwards! LOL... Thanks.
 
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Old 04-13-2003, 07:13 AM
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You'll find that most of your problems are going to come from two main sources. The first is lawyers. Please, never believe your lawyer is looking out for you first. He is looking out for Himself first and so is the spouses lawyer and both lawyers know it. They have a little game called "Soak the Clients" and over the years have made an art of it.


VERY True. I would get references from 5 different lawyers and check them. Do they get back to you when you call? My liar never did. Did they look out for your interest? Did they want to settle out of court, or are they willing to fight? Get yourself a mean one, nice guys finish last. It is cheaper if its amicable, as long as you don't get screwed.
Be double careful on the custody and visitation arangements. $15K and 2 different lawyers, we are still having trouble with my step daughters father because of loopholes in the divorce contract. Get every detail spelled out, assume nothing. If its not in the contract it will be a battle later.

Good Luck! My life started with my divorce!
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Old 04-13-2003, 07:38 AM
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all kidding aside .. I had a paralegal draw up the proper paperwork based on a mutual agreement between the X and I ...she signed it and we filed for divorce the judge approved the filing..done deal. Total cost - 500 clams.... Just be sure to remove her name from anything it may be on..credit cards,bank accounts etc etc...leave no stone unturned..
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