Tell them you were car jacked on the way to the wedding, but not to worry because your O.K.

Dude.. I feel your pain. The problem is that it gets worse. Wait till they have kids. Then you have to go to birthday parties !!! It's horrible.

As far as an excuse.. Tell them to get married in the winter. Summer is too hot to be wearing a tux.

Tell your wife "I love going to weddings, although I feel guilty standing in a church wondering what sort of sexy lingerie the bride has on under her gown, and what she will be doing later that night. But Man do I love weddings!!!".
See when she asks you to go to the next one?

Try telling them that you love and respect them all too much to subject them to your presence............

T2x......... Just trying to be helpful.

Just send them some cash thats what it is all about anyway,and go Boating

tell them you just came back from a wonderful vacation in Beijing (by way of toronto) but unfortunatly have a little sore throat and are on the fence about weather or not to come to the wedding.

All they want is the gift anyhow. Send them the check and they make more money on not having to feed you too.

With that kind of attitude, when was the last time you got laid?

Say you used to date the bride and it would just make things terribly uncomfortable

Tell them you have to be at a boat race in the Bahamas because your wife bought you a One Design lease so you could feel the adrenaline rush of APBA Offshore Racing!