Best line I ever heard from our legal council:

Bank: well you said XX XXX XXXX XXx

Bank's Attorney: Well if you have it in writing, then I said it.

So, Packin, remember like we discussed: you are going to put the thing, in the place, at the time, and that should avoid having to grab your ankles at a future date.

Masturbating doesnt get anyone pregnant!

just point and say she did it