I just sat here and read this entire thread because it was so phkn funny.
Phknlwyr was totally upfront about his purpose and intentions.

I, and obviously countless others, found the comedic device of the boat analogy to be freaking hilarious.

Nobody misrepresented anything.

People did however, entertain others.

Let them have their fun. This is a great thread.

If you come up with something half as clever, I'm sure the board gods will give it some slack as well.

Now go eat your prunes.

Kevin: you slay me. I have to clean the coffee off of my monitor because I spit it out laughing my azz off.

Well, the conclusion to the soap opera, "As the Boat Churns" was decidedly anti-climatic. Boat was a tug boat this week, doing a yeoman's job of completing everything thrown at her. She not only completed all of this weeks case filings, but she created a "how to" manual for her successor, cleaned and organized everything (supplies, her desk, her files), and generally had a good attitude. She is still has a Starcraft mentality, but such is life.

As for Dingy, I cornered her in the harbor yesterday and told her it was time to install a silent choice on her exhaust pipe. She admitted to communicating with Boat and that the information came from her; however, she did so innocently, like Sam bashing the right side of the Gladiator into the fuel dock when Steve lets her take it out with the girls. Dingy is a kind, naive preachers daughter from the Philippines. Everything that I have observed from her over the past two years allows me to believe her version of events. Dingy stays in the Kane marina...for now.

So back to Boat. She was expecting the other girls in the office to do a blow-out happy hour with her at the end of the day. Wouldn't you know it, they all three bailed on her. All together now, "Awwwwwwwww." So rather than throw a tremendous wake her way while she sat powerless on the side of the channel, and believing that the desertion of her by her "friends" was a true metaphor for her life, I decided NOT to post a reply on her message board and not to include a copy of the thread in the envelope with her final check. I'll wait for the draw bridge to open at a later, more appropriate time, if one presents itself.

As for Jill, she did some introspection, took stock of the excellent shape of her slip, the three little water lice that she has produced (with some help from this guy...I hope), and decided that Boat's rusty cleats, delaminated deck, and blown drives were hardly worth the trouble that she caused. So, Jill is over it and we will sail on (oops) I mean gas up for calmer seas ahead.

Now back to your regular scheduled programming.

See,you were able to blow off steam on this bd all wk and not do anything rash,Smitty

As for Jill, she did some introspection, took stock of the excellent shape of her slip, the three little water lice that she has produced (with some help from this guy...I hope), and decided that Boat's rusty cleats, delaminated deck, and blown drives were hardly worth the trouble that she caused. So, Jill is over it and we will sail on (oops) I mean gas up for calmer seas ahead.



ROTFLMAO!!!!

I am glad this thread did not get docked, or run aground in the OT area. I never boat on that stream so I would have missed one of the puniest threads ever. I came back on line just to see what happened to boat on her last day, personally I would have liked to have seen her sink but what matters is that the Master and Commander is satisfied.

Well, I didn't see this until tonight. But I LMAO. You handled it right. I know a few boats like that (and each of them works in the same, legal, waters). Each of them has a hole in the bottom, bilge pump doesn't work, the stringers are rotted, the engine has a few missing pieces and not one of them thought to bring an oar.

Here's the beautiful thing. You can now watch from afar. The boat will go down and you won't be a member of the coast guard.

In 4 years I have watched a boat sink.

While sometimes I feel pity for the boat...there is sometimes an evil side of me that chuckles.

I just read this thread as well. As I read it, I had many suggestions, all of which were offered in similar versions by others long before I got to this last page.

My main concern was that the wife/Jill would carry this forwards with no suitable resolution. Phkn is a big enough guy to compartmentalize it and move on, but the wife did honestly need to make the calls on what SHE needed in the way of a good ending.

It sounds like all was handled wonderfully.
Nanny will, at some point, let Boat know that the online conversation had been monitored by both of you. It willhave less of an effect, but may provide her with a new attitude for the "next harbormaster"...

Yea, probably to make sure her vessel doesn't leave any wake for the habormaster to see.


What a great thread, funny and a real life situation. This sure did beat reading the morning paper with breakfast.

I still liked the witch costume idea. Not sure if it was the best way to deal with it, but...... It would have been one of those "Priceless Moments".