Stupid boat tricks

Old 03-25-2002, 04:24 PM
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This is sad but true....

This guy at our lake had just bought a brand new, top of the line, lunker catching bass rig at the summer boat show. It was his first boat and he loved to fish but had always fished from the bank before ( this will be important later in the sotry). As luck would have it, he shows up early at the public boat ramp that morning and he is the only one there it is so early(wanted to get a early start). He backs the rig into the water and had unhooked the bow line prior to backing it in. Well, you can picture what happens next. The boat floats off the trailer pretty as you please and is floating away. This is the sad part. Since he only fished from the bank before, he had on a set of chest high waders. When the boat floats off he goes after it down the ramp. He gets in over the top of the waders and they fill up draggin him under water. Remember, no one is around at this time. A little later, a guy drives up to the ramp and notices a truck running with its trailer backed in the water and a boat floating 30 yards off shore. You guessed it! The guy had drowned himself launching his boat. I guess he couldn't swim either.

My opinion, the dealer should be shot for letting this guy drive off with the boat and not giving him any instruction.

Old 03-25-2002, 05:06 PM
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That's a sad story.
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Old 03-25-2002, 05:08 PM
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Waterfoul and I have this running credit. We have each towed eachother in. one for me for a drive blown, and him , well you know his engine problems, anyway.

Oh, one thing, Were' both Dutch... this is important later.....

So.....we're on our monthly poker run from Holland to Saugatuck for dinner and back. Mike says he is low on fuel starting out , but wants to be first or so to the pier, so he runs light. me too, a little above 1/4 tank starting out the evening. So we race the other 12 boats to the pier, have dinner, etc. and are coming back at dusk.

I hear a call on the marine radio, He's out of fuel. 6 mile from Holland's pier!!!! . So i tow him in. After all he towed me last time when I blew out my outdrive, he's got at credit!

So i tow him in. We hook him up and I set a route to the holland pier on my gps and it predicts 2.4 hrs ETA. oh well, crank the tunes and wave at him and his crewas we tug them along........

So we get the closest fuel dock to open the owner out of bed (10:30 pm now) and put 20 bucks into waterfoul. Mike asks me if I want fuel too while we're here. I'm Dutch so I say naw... i got enough to get to the dock, just across the lake. (thinking it's $1.75 here and $.89 at the gas station).

So we race the last leg across the lake and 1 mile from the dock......
I run out of fuel.rolleyes:

Well Waterfoul proceeds to circle me about 8 times on plane before settling down and pulls me the last mile to the dock. I guess he has a credit again.... DANG:
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Old 03-25-2002, 05:26 PM
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Last summer we were standing by the dock waiting for a ferry. Not much to do so we were watching a guy trying to launch his boat. Well he's in a hurry and had put the traier in crooked. He had turned it back towards the dock and had somehow managed to put the fenders right between the docks pilings. So they launch the boat and he jumps back into the truck. Now I was watching real close to see if he had noticed his trailer being hooked under the dock. If he had noticed he would have turned sharply to the left and things would have been ok. Judging by his reaction, he hadn't noticed. Being in the hurry that he was, he goosed the throttle and caused the rigg to straighten out and acually slide a bit backwards. Now the trailer is definetly locked under the dock and it doesn't matter how hard he spins them! Well somehow the marina owner becomes aware of this. The long line of boats waiting to launch proably clued him in. Well after much discussion, the decision is that they will try to get the trailer to swing over from under the dock with a tractor's loader. Well the truck is in the way, so they drop the jack and unhitch the trailer. You guessed it. As soon as that thing came uncoupled, it took off and was instantly out of sight! The parting image as we left on the ferry was of the tractor putting it's front tires into the water and the trailer's owner wading in with a length of chain. I sure hope the operator was good with the clutch, because those tractors sure don't float either!
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Old 03-25-2002, 06:53 PM
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Tuvell its funny you should mention the importance of starting your boat on the hose in the driveway before you go to the ramp.

last year when packinair an i re-riged his cat he calls me to go out on the lake for a little test-n-tune session. so i head to his house and when i get there he's got the muffs on and we start to go through our test fire. crank crank crank . . . nothing. hmmmm . . . check fuel, OK . . .. crank some more . . nothing . . . .hmmmm. . . . check some wiring,every thing looks in place. . . crank some more . . .nothing. . . .damn the thing ran great yesterday, WTF. . . . crank some more, check some more stuff . . .hmmm . . .pull a plug and crank it, no spark. must of fouled the plugs(outboards) . . . OK, we go all the way to the marina and buy a two full sets of plugs bring'em back and install them. . . . crank some more . . .nothing . . . by this time it has been about an hour or so of screwing around trying to figure this thing out an tensions are gett'n high . . .screw this thing, looks like we aint go'n on a test ride today so we break out the beers and try to kick back in the shop when scott looks up on the back of his boat where the lifeline vests are sit'n . . .and attached to one of the vests is . . .you guessed it . . .the plug in's for his kill switches . . . D'OH . . .WE HAD BEEN CRANK'N ALL THAT TIME WITH THE KILL SWITCHES OFF. . . . man i sure hope we're not the only ones to ever do that, cause i sure felt pretty . . . well . . stupid
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Old 03-25-2002, 07:23 PM
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Geeez,where to start?

how about the obvious newbie showin his buddies that he can drive his 25 onto the trailer just like that guy(me).He did,missed the front stanchion,nailed the winch with his bow,panicked and hammered the gas.he went about 3 feet into the back of his astro van before pulling back on the stick
The new cabin cruiser driver last summer who messed up his dockin so bad that he ended up sideways in a double slip.Not too bad but he gets stuck so he gives her good and the floatin dock breaks introducing his 25 foot bayliner's anchor roller to the side of the shiny new 54 foot searay docked beside him.

the sailboat driver who backed his caravan into the lake and still couldnt get his boat to float(should have untied it from the trailer) doh!

At least 3 wing nuts who forgot to put their tow vehicles in park after backing down the ramp.

And my all time favorite lanch ramp losers,the ones who need 3 or 4 family members to get a 14 foot tin boat on a trailer in under 30 minutes

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Old 03-25-2002, 07:48 PM
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A variation of the "Tips for beginner pilots"

"Tips for beginner boaters."

1. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.

2. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end(s) going forward as much as possible

3. Boating isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

4. It's always better to be on land, wishing you were on the water - than on the water wishing you were on land.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. In the ongoing battle between objects made of wood and fiberglass tumbling at over a hundred of miles per hour and the water going zero miles per hour, the water has yet to lose.

7. Never let a boat take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

8. A "good" docking is one from which you can walk away. A "great" docking is one after which you can use the boat again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the speed of arrival. High speed of arrival equals a small probability of survival -- and vice versa

11. You know the ramp is too shallow when it takes full power to reach your trailer.

12. Stay out of fog. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be a bridge.

13. Reliable sources also report that islands have been known to hide in fog.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

15. Before launching, keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

16. If all you can see over the bow is water, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passengers, things are not at all as they should be.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. Remember, not wearing an "annoying" high-speed life jacket is something people will change their minds about after it is too late.

19. There are old boat drivers and there are bold boat drivers. There are, however, no old, bold boat drivers.
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Old 03-25-2002, 08:11 PM
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OK, I'll keep all my ramp stories for later. Here's a Poker Run story.

Last year we were on a poker run with the CBPBA in the central part of the Bay(it's gonna be July 20th this year BTW). As we are nearing one of the stops I am sweating it a little because we have everybody going through a one boatwidth bridge, circling around, picking up a card, and then coming back through again. Now most of these guys are pretty good to very good(Art Lilly) and they are managing this with no problems. 5 boats in, 5 boats out, yada, yada. As we are nearing the bridge for our turn to go in I hear engines revving and crash boxes crashing UH OH!!! Now I figure someone is getting beligerent about their turn and this can't be good(barfight later). So the boat in front of us is starting to back down out of the bridge and we beat a hasty retreat to let him come back.......

Here comes Ma and Pa kettle in this raggedy ass work boat smoking and puking all sorts of liquids into the water. He zigs to the left around the guy in front of us and then as we move right he zigs to the right directly into our path. I am now having flashes of this thing plowing into my buddy Kenny's 2001 Scarab at his full speed of 4 knots. Thank goodness twin 350 mags back down almost as good as they go forward

Come to find out this guy has run right through the middle of all the milling boats shaking his fist at everyone that told him to back off And to top it all off he had a USCG auxillary flag flying the whole time

Oh yeah, I forgot none of those cigar boat guys knows how to drive
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Old 03-25-2002, 09:22 PM
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Default So many boat ramp stories so little time

ITs fourth of july weekend, the lake and the ramp are mobbed, i'm waiting to drop off my friend to get the truck, there is one long cement pier and room for about three boats... well there is a tiny spot right at the end of the ramp and this guy says are you gonna go in that spot or what, I say no, and neither are you, your gonna wait your turn just like everyone else, this guy gets pissed, starts yelling at his wife and kids cursing me out,, he throws the boat in gear zooms up to the tiny spot, beaches the boat jumps up on the bow and off into 3 FEET OF MUD !!! right up to his waist,,, well everyone at the ramp is rolling, laughing their ass off at this guy,,, he is holding onto his bow rail trying to extricate himself from the mud,,, what a scene.....

I have been trailering my boat for 13 years every weekend and sometimes 3 times a week, I have seen it ALLL.....
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Old 03-25-2002, 09:34 PM
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Sandy Point Park, older guy about 50, brand new Fountain. Red, bright red, matching Expedition. Obviously new at this. There are white towels between the boat and EVERY place that the boat touches the trailer. I don't know how he did that unless a boatel set the boat on the trailer for him. Another couple shows up and I guess that they are all going out, even though it's fairly late to start an adventure. By now I'm is slow motion because I don't want to miss ANY of this. He can't get the boat to slide off of the trailer because he doesn't want to get his trailer wheels wet. His bunk trailer. So then he gets brave and decides that he is going to try to snatch the boat off of the trailer by backing up and hitting his brakes on the truck. He figures that this might backfire on him, so he gets a 5 ft line and ties the bow eye to the tailgate of the Expedition. By now I'm having trouble pretending not to be watching them so I figured I may as well just stare. I finally had to leave because you can only stall so long. As I pulled out the boat was still on the trailer and the tailgate was still on the Expedition. I can only imagine the rest.
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