Make sure Brain is in gear, before engaging Mouth!

do you know what the key to a small fortune is????



..... to start with a large one

Ayuh,.... Any grease, is Better than No grease at all,....

Wife reminded me of a few of mine
F*ck em if they can't take a joke

Well that went well.....

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you??

Off like a prom dress

This is gonna hurt

And the Massachusetts Classic
"Go f*uck yourself"

When making drinks...."Oops"

I'm no meteorologist but I predict you'll be getting more than a couple inches tonight.

Can't stop you from trying, But make you damn sure you wish you hadn't !!!!

You sound like 2 fleas fighting over who owns the dog.

Calm down, make yourself a sandwich, have a glass of milk.....do some f"n thing

Go take a long walk on a short pier.

If your going to run in the Kentucky derby you don't leave your best horse in the stable....

Liars have twice as much to remember.

By Mark Twain, specifically for Chris Sukkin. :angry-smiley-038:

If its not broke don't fix it

If I felt any better it would be against the law

If I want any of your lip I'll rattle my zipper.

My luck is so bad that if my brother died they would bury me

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all

When I see a broken engine " I think you ran over the crankshaft"....

For the guy or girl that tends to make a scene......"show up and blow up!"

Nobody rides for Free !!!

He who dies with the most toys,,,,, is dead

Without reading 26 pages - maybe said, maybe not:

'Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.' Being a contractor, I think that many times a week.

I was just at a brand new 7mm house and they used one of the top 3 general contractor in the county. Everything was top notch but one major thing was not great, bad design workmanship. So when I asked why a top tier specialty contractor in the area didn't handle it the response was the general contractor burned them for money so the specialty guy won't work for the builder anymore. The GC has burnt a few subs, now he is reduced to using 2nd tier guys and it is definitely starting to show in the finished product! The specialty guy has a "one strike policy" as in you burn me once and our relationship is over!

When asked why he chose robbing banks as his profession, Willie Sutton replied "That's where the money is"

"Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is permanent."

The lake is smooth as glass.

...didnt get that round mouth from eating square meals!

Well.....after reading these above words of wisdom....."I'm more like I am now then I was before"

Better to ask for forgiveness then permission.

Just thought of another one


Only an idiot can spell a word only one way

WC Fields


3pointstar

Good fences make good neighbors

Comanche how is the 36 doing?

Pull your lower lip over your head and swallow.

Class? We have a lot of class, it's just all low.

You can polish a turd but its still a turd

And one time.....at band camp

laughter is the best medicine

You can't fix stupid.

you couldn't drive a sharp stick up a dogs a$$

You made me laugh so hard my uterus broke !

Stupid is not owning a boat. Stupid is owning a boat and bringing guests on board that have the best day of their year and then tell me how owning a boat is stupid. Yup, I was stupid. Go find someone else to call stupid.

LOL.

Couldn't agree more...go ahead and think it but don't be stupid enough to tell the guy that just dropped $200 carting ur arse around.

Nothing in life is more expensive than free *****!!!!!!

Damn can't say P U S S Y?