Sit on my face and I will guess your weight.

guy: "those are pretty earrings, but do you know what would look better on your years"?

girl: "what?"

guy: "Your ankles."

"Why don't we go home and do the things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway?"

How can I love you if you won't lay down?

Go up to a chic and say, "did you buy those pants with a VISA?" Reply: Because they are everywhere I want to be.

What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

hey baby...Lets play Pearl Harbor...i'll lay down and you can blow the F*%$ out of me.

I was a bouncer in a bar called Eric the Reds in Chicago in the late 80's. There was a guy who used to stand at the door at closing time holding a condom up and he got laid regularly. He wasnt a proud man.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants