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I Love Broker-ese

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Old 03-16-2004, 01:37 PM
  #11
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My favorite is "Coast Guard Ready"

Ready for what? Rescue?
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Old 03-16-2004, 02:57 PM
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Professionally maintained = Professionally Beat on
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Old 03-16-2004, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by CAP071
Professionally maintained = Professionally Beat on
Roflmao..... have adjustable wrench... will travel....
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Old 03-16-2004, 06:57 PM
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"She's never been in rough water" = Beat so hard the driver had to take a nap!

"Those are the actual hours on the meter" Please dont plug in the motors, we just added new meters.

"The owner is firm at that price" The guy is calling every ten minutes saying submit all offers.

"I really dont have any money in this one" I have a 10% commision I dont want you to know about.

What about buyers lines???
*This is the all time best one*
"I dont need to finance, I have cash, lets just take her for a spin for an hour or so and if I like her...I buy her!!! What do you mean deposit? I never had to put down a deposit before?"

or
"No I dont have another boat to trade in"
or
"I know what this boat is really worth"

or the most famous...
"Im getting a check in about two weeks and Im going to get me one of these.

For as bad a brokers are...Buyers are worse!!!
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:05 PM
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I've heard this one before from a buyer... " Meet me at the marina launch ramp... let's spend the day out on the water... put her through the paces...if she does what you say she will.... I'll consider buying her."... translation... "Lets go beat the $hit out of your boat... oh... and you get to pay for the gas and buy us lunch on Catalina."............. My Reply... you meet me at the lauch ramp with $1,000.00 cash.... I'll buy the gas and clean the boat up afterwards... if you buy it... I'll take One thousand dollars off your final price......Amazing how quickly that seperated the men from the boys... the only guy that ponied up the grand... bought the boat.
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:42 PM
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When I was at DSM we used to have the "Sunday morning club". Those are the OC guys that would take some pretentious OC stank Ho home the night before and wake up the next morning still trying to impress her with $$$ because they are a lousy lay. Any how, they would walk in arm and arm and they guy would say something along the lines of "I want to buy that offshore boat over there (Pointing to a Tiger) But I want to make sure I like it first, Why don't we run to Catalina for lunch with it?"
Some even added
"What time should we meet you at the ramp? I am a cash buyer so I don't want to waste time with paperwork."

Lets face it folks. If you are about to drop $400K for a boat on a Sunday morning and all you want is a lunch run, you are a rare breed.

Our response:
"Sure, Ill have the boys in the back get her ready. Just give us 10% down on the agreed price, which you say you are a cash buyer so Ill take a grand off the top, and we are off. Lunch is on me!"

Thats when they say they have never had to put 10% down before. We ask what kind of boat they have, or have bought in the past without money down. and push the issue that for a man willing to spend $400K a $40K deposit should not be hard to get on a glorious Sunday morning. Needless to say they look stupid in front of there future Ex-wife.
I know all of you are reading this and thinking I must be a jerk that ran off a few potential buyers. I will defend myself this way. California has a VERY small offshore boating community. I have never seen one of these guys again on the water in any boat...EVER!
And it was usually 2 Sundays per month this would happen.
That is why the only way to buy a boat...is to be pre qualified. (Pre approved at a lender or able to show financial means to buy a particular boat).
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:57 PM
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Click on link to see pics from Key West Poker Run
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Old 03-16-2004, 08:41 PM
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insptech

LMAO that's so true LOL
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Old 03-16-2004, 09:18 PM
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the owner is read to write a check to get out from under it.
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:43 AM
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'Some dude named Fred that works at Burger King owns it and it's never been in the water....'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OOOOPPPPPSSS....



nevermind
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