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STUPIDEST thing you have ever done, while boating...

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Old 03-05-2007, 09:21 AM
  #91
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Originally Posted by Clay Washington View Post
I got in a hurry last year. I had Dinah on the boat. After a couple of drinks, she wanted to get busy in the cabin!

It was real windy out and my anchor wasn't holding. I did not want to be interupted by anything, so I decided to tie the boat to shore. I started the engines, put the gear into forward for a sec, went to neutral, shutdown the engines, and moved to the bow of the boat.

I sat there with a line when I noticed that the boat was moving too fast. (Here is the stupid part!) I stuck my foot out to stop a 10,000 pound boat from hitting the rocks. The boat didn't stop, the wind gusted, and the nose of the boat crushed the pinky toe off of my left foot!

I moved to the helm, got (the now topless) Dinah to hold a rag over the hole where the toe used to be, and I drove the boat back to the dock. I secured the boat and Dinah drove me to the ER. I couple hours later I am laying in her bed with stiches where my toe used to be, and she is taking care of me!

I lost my toe, but Dinah and I had a unique experence.
Ouch!
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:21 AM
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Stupidest thing I ever did while boating was decide to buy a bigger baot.
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Old 03-05-2007, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Shore Thing View Post
I was 21 and my folks were building a new house on the water. It was March and me and a buddy grabbed a 30 pack and headed down to the new place to do some early spring maintenance on my dad's sea-ray. It was getting late in the day and most of the 30 pack was now gone. All of a sudden i feel this pain in my stomach and I had to sh!t. The closest thing to a working toilet around was the construction workers porta-pot. I had opened the door to that thing earlier in the day and I knew that using this facility was NOT an option. We had the 20ft bertram tied up in the slip and it was March so there was no one out on the water. I decided I would put my feet on the side of the boat and my arms on the dock, hover over the water and in this position I would drop my payload into the creek. Everything is going well at first and I'm starting to think that i'm a genius. Then I start to feel the boat getting further and further away. I forgot to tighten the spring line! I start to panic as my arms get stretched out behind me and my toes are barely gripping the edge of the boat. My buddy hears me yelling and comes running down the pier only to see me in my last moment, pants around my ankles, body fully extended and then plummeting into my own feces. The water was about 37 degrees, but that meant nothiing to me compared the knowing what i was now swimming in. My buddy fell to the ground in laughter and couldn't even speak through his tears for the next 15 minutes. As if this wasn't embarassing enough, he later proceeded to tell everyone i know this story. To this day he still tells people the story at the least opportune times (or in his mind, the most opportune times).

This one has my vote LOL!!!
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Old 03-05-2007, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Shore Thing View Post
I was 21 and my folks were building a new house on the water. It was March and me and a buddy grabbed a 30 pack and headed down to the new place to do some early spring maintenance on my dad's sea-ray. It was getting late in the day and most of the 30 pack was now gone. All of a sudden i feel this pain in my stomach and I had to sh!t. The closest thing to a working toilet around was the construction workers porta-pot. I had opened the door to that thing earlier in the day and I knew that using this facility was NOT an option. We had the 20ft bertram tied up in the slip and it was March so there was no one out on the water. I decided I would put my feet on the side of the boat and my arms on the dock, hover over the water and in this position I would drop my payload into the creek. Everything is going well at first and I'm starting to think that i'm a genius. Then I start to feel the boat getting further and further away. I forgot to tighten the spring line! I start to panic as my arms get stretched out behind me and my toes are barely gripping the edge of the boat. My buddy hears me yelling and comes running down the pier only to see me in my last moment, pants around my ankles, body fully extended and then plummeting into my own feces. The water was about 37 degrees, but that meant nothiing to me compared the knowing what i was now swimming in. My buddy fell to the ground in laughter and couldn't even speak through his tears for the next 15 minutes. As if this wasn't embarassing enough, he later proceeded to tell everyone i know this story. To this day he still tells people the story at the least opportune times (or in his mind, the most opportune times).

That is some funny chit
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Old 03-05-2007, 11:58 AM
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Threw me and my sponsor out of my race boat on his maiden voyage. No life jackets or lanyards. Yep my dumb a s s actually did that. Live and learn!
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:05 PM
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Wait one more.........you'll love this. My Mastercraft sat all winter on a lift inside my boat house. I went to crank the boat in the Spring and the thing back fired and blew the breather tube off the valve cover. We were like " damn thing is out of time (I was 19 years old). Pumped the gas and tried again. It sounded like a shot gun went off , blew the damn valve cover off the head. It went STRAIGHT up and blew a hole in the top of the dock , Yes - lucky I'm alive! Found out the fuel pump filled the crank case w/ gas and I'd been running a spark plug too hot (it had eaten a hole in the piston). Crazy c h i t!
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:11 PM
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A few years ago my dad bought a 35 Fountain. Our second time out on it I'm backing into the dock at one of the local bars like I've done a thousand times. Of course pretty much the entire Baton Rouge Boat Club was standing there watching. Reached down to bump it into forward to slow us down and accidentally grabbed the throttles. Gassed it hard in reverse, and when I yanked the throttles back one of the engines stalled so it ended up almost sideways when I tried to save it but at least it didn't slam into the dock. Only damage was a hicky on the side where it smacked a party barge. Most emberassed I've ever been in my life.
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Old 10-04-2008, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Rice Hauler View Post
I alluded to this incident once in an earlier thread but I may as well elaborate a bit.
Summer of 2000 and I had just hit Lake Erie with my latest Rice Hauler. A 2000 Single Step Top Gun.
I have a date with me and I am hoping to impress her and everyone else within eyesight with my matching cig shirt, swim shorts, windbreaker, shoes, towels, key floaters, etc. and oh yeah the boat too.
We head out to one of the major performance hot spots on Lake Erie's kelly's Island. The Casino Restaurant. The Casino has it's own boat basin and the front row is reserved only for Offshore performance boats. This is only my second or third time there but I am one of the newest Cig's and so nattily attired in matching shirt, shorts, and shoes, that they dock us up right in front with The outdoor tiki bar and restaurant looking down not 5 feet above us onto the GLEAMING nose of my newest expression of virility and boating prowess. At 5'8" and 170lbs. wet (yes this all is leading somewhere) I am a STUD as I cooly follow my date and walk off the boat and onto the dock.
I spend a relaxing day discussing the virtues of EVERYTHING Cigarette. She spends the day wishing I would just shut up already. As the afternoon wanes on I am sure that everyone within earshot now believes that I bleed Cig red and black, and could captain a boat to the moon if I so desired.
I decide that it is time to head for home and round up my date and as the assembled cocktail hour throng of people watch and listen,(it seemed like there were at least a couple of hundred there) I cooly tell her that proper boating etiquette DEMANDS that we walk across the other 2 two boats swim platforms that we are rafted too and then onto our waiting TOP GUN.
I casually follow her scantily clad bottom and instruct her to hand me the stern line.......
The next thought that I had was that the water was unusually cold and clear and I wonder to myself if anyone saw me go in. Hopfully not. Maybe I could just hold my breath underwater until they close for the night? Who would be the wiser. As I contemplate the relative merits of drowning vs. crawling out I unfortunately float to the surface and one of the attentive Dock Jocks reaches in and hauls me out to the uproar of the crowd and my date.
You really cannot leave quick enough after a stunt like that with all your coolness and panache washed off and lying at the bottom of the lake. The cold water squelching in your shoes and your shirt and windbreaker sticking to you. But the worst part is that at least once a year someone mentions that they were there and that it was one of the funniest things that they have ever seen. I just try and agree and hope that by next season they will have all forgotten.
best,
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one of the all time best threads and the best post imho
 
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Old 10-04-2008, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Chris288 View Post
so who's fallen in the water at their dock ???

last night I pulled a doozy,,,, cleaned the entire boat, 303'd the upholstery, went to put the cover on, was kneeling on the dock reaching to snap the cover over the swim platoform,, (note to self,, 303 protectant and dew on the cover make one slick surface ) anyway, hand slipped off and into the water,, luckily my nose was there to break my fall,,, ( note to self,,, your nose is NOT a good part of your body to break a fall,,, you will most likely BREAK your NOSE ),, anyway, the DUMBEST thing is I did it again,, yup, slipped again,, this time I ducked,, ( see I am paying attention) and barrel rolled into the water,,, so I managed to skin my knee, raspberry my chest, cut my finger, get a lump on my nose and a bump on my head,,, all I could do was lay on the dock and LMMFAO ! the soggy ride home sucked...
I actually did the same thing while placing the cover on the deck of my boat. Only problem was the boat was on the trailer in my driveway. I hold Donnie and Leverage Polish partially responsible for this one.

The good news was that I landed on my rear and back and wasn't seriously hurt ( I would guess my deck is 7-8' off the ground when the boat is the trailer). No booze in the system either.
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Old 10-04-2008, 10:00 PM
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I guess the dumbest thing i ever did was crash the dock in a 40' cruiser parking into the slip/ one motor died as I was heading in the slip causing the bow to shift to the left and wamooo, 02:00 on the morning, drunker than Dick was when Haddie died. Woke everyone sleeping in their boats, people screaming at me, cursing me, calling me names. They all acted like I did it on purpose. Oh well,
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