You smell what I'm stepping in?

LOL

The early bird catches the worm,

but the late worm ! escapes from the early bird!

Referring to anything remotely electrical...... (Mr Mom quote)

I'm going 220/221, whatever it takes!

In reference to someone who just started to workout/go to the gym:

She is working on the "somebody new is going to see me naked body!"

a ***** hair will tow a battleship !

"Fu$k me running"
"Happy to be here"
"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then"
"Colder than a witch's t!t in a brass bra"

Holy Sh*t !!!

I'm Kinda liking dykstras sig " You can retake a class but can not Relive a Party" Thats awesome, And probably been said before

Or " I'm Fu*king Something !!!!!!"

The one I use all the time is Anytime someone leaves let them know "drive fast and take chances".

My other one is if it doesn't fit get a bigger hammer

Bust out another thousand. BOAT

4th gear pulled harder than a 14 year old with a playboy.
Sweating like a pedophile in a playground
Oh I think there's something leaking under that car? Nope those are just tears.
You win some, you lose some!
Life is a highway.

I thought it was just "Duuuuuuudeeeeeee"!