Sign on the back of a Chevy truck. "If I wanted a Hummer I would call your sister"

I don't really have a best saying but will never forget my dad's sayings while growning up. Very encouraging as a child, really helped ones confidence. Lol

"If you were any slower you'd be going in reverse"
"You'd be late to your own funeral"
"You're more useless than a bull with tits"
"It's colder than witches tit in a cast iron bra"
"Sweating like a whore in church"

Keep honking azzhole, I'm reloading

“I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
~ Frank Sinatra

they pretend to pay i pretend to work

Good things aren't cheap & cheap things aren't good.

We tell our customers that every day.

if it don't fit force it & if it don't go grind it... I've broken tons of stuff this way!
And when I'm working on something, "pass the persuader", it's a ridiculously large hammer....

Parking by brail (after bumping the dock)
Well there's your problem (when a completely obvious problem is seen)

My dad tells me all the time, that the best part of me is still on the sheets.

Ever since I was a kid, whenever we would go somewhere and the old man needed to talk to the manager or somebody w/ any kind of authority he says,

"I need to talk to somebody with more Horsepower"

Generally leaves people w/ a confused look on their face, but I love it! lol